Strife
by Daerious
Summary: Post-original game, pre-Advent Children. Cloud Strife was once a hero. How did he fall so far, to become ruled by guilt and depression, and a slave to the past? After a life of repeated failures... he would be doomed to fail again, wouldn't he?
1. Bonfire

**Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

**Author's Note: I've seen a lot of bashing on Cloud's characterization in Advent Children. So, why not look deeper into Cloud's character, figure out why he is how he is, and attempt to justify it? I'm trying to stay within canon as much as possible, excluding a few sections of the Way to a Smile novellas (particularly a few character reactions from Case of Tifa), and ideally, you should be able to read this as a sort of "Case of Cloud." If you like it, or even if you don't, don't hesitate to leave a review! Feedback is crucial to developing better writing skills.**

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**Strife**

**Chapter 1: Bonfire**

It could have been one of the most beautiful nights imaginable. The moon was full, glowing brilliantly in the darkness, illuminating the world below in a dim, gentle light. The stars, while failing to outshine the moon, shimmered brightly in their own right, backed by the richest and darkest of blues and purples. The land was serene, quiet, although not in a halcyon way; not even a breeze dared disturb the silence.

It could have been one of the most beautiful nights imaginable, had it not been for the obsidian-colored rubble in the sky. Fragments of it had already fallen off and burned in the atmosphere. The main body of the rock seemed to bleed crimson lava. The residents of Gaea had dubbed this ethereal rock, "Meteor." It had just appeared in the sky one day, but as the sun and moon tangoed around the Planet, Meteor steadily inched closer and closer. People around the world knew that the astral body would be the end of the world and life as they knew it. They went about their daily routine, pretending the death sentence above their heads wasn't actually real. But Meteor, harbinger of death, had arrived.

Almost everyone had run and hid in their houses, as though the feeble metal roofs could save them from the calamity. Morbid curiosity must have taken over, as people pressed their faces to their windows, leaving smudges on the glass. Cue the amazement when the world started glowing green; after all, could it possibly get worse? One girl in particular, with shoulder-length brown hair and a little pink dress, watched the glow intensify, her eyes widening. "It's coming."

The very life force of the Planet, dubbed the Lifestream, emerged from the earth as holy tendrils, radiating shades of blue and green light over the entire world. It appeared to thrust itself toward Meteor, like a mother would lunge at any threat to protect her children. The light became blinding.

And just like that, it was over.

* * *

The young man found himself absently staring at the bonfire; the orange-red flames reflected in his glowing azure eyes. The coils of searing heat seemed to dance, and with enough imagination, one could imagine the flames live. It almost seemed more lively than the person who sat beside it, the person who swam in a sea of his own thoughts.

It wasn't as though the man was unaccompanied. Several more folk were with him, arranging themselves in a circle around the bonfire. Though there were only 8 people in total, there was a single spot leftover. The bright fire cast a dark silhouette into the empty space. While the dancing tendrils changed the shape of the shadow constantly, it seemed to vaguely resemble a woman.

To an outsider, they must have looked like a bunch of misfits. A man who looked like he could have been in the military, a dark-haired woman with the warmest brown eyes, a large and intimidating dark-skinned man, a red-furred beast, a stuffed animal, an old-fashioned gruff man smoking a cigarette, a girl who liked to dress as a ninja, and a man in dark clothing, who wouldn't have been fashionable even 30 years ago.

The offbeat group, as different as they all were, did share one thing – exhaustion. For some, it manifested through their body, how they didn't sit as tall as they otherwise would. For others, it was displayed on their faces, a slight scowl or a serious expression, if any expression at all, or furrowed brows. Some displayed their fatigue more openly than others.

The dark-haired woman grew uncomfortable with the deafening silence. Twisting her hair with her fingers, she was the first to speak. "It's hard to believe it's already been a week, isn't it?"

The crimson-furred beast raised his left foot to scratch behind his ear. Some would say that he seemed to be more cat-like in both appearance and behavior, while others would disagree, saying he was like more a wolf. Regardless of what he was, he wasn't completely feral and uncivilized. He nodded, before adding, "It will be some time before the world gets back on its feet. What matters is that the Planet is safe."

The gruff-looking man put out his cigarette. After a scowl from the beast, he picked up the butt and hastily shoved it in his pants pocket. "Damn it, Red, I know." The man coughed, decades of tar and hazardous chemicals taking its toll on his body.

The dark-skinned man crossed his muscular arms in front of his chest. Interestingly, from the elbow down, one of them was replaced with metal. "Then why're we still sittin' here? Don't ya forget, I still got Marlene to take care of. Can't just keep sittin' on our damn hands all day long."

The girl, perhaps woman, dressed as a ninja, suddenly chirped up. "I gotta get back to Wutai! I promised Pops that I'd come back after this was all over, but I need some Materia first."

"Damn it kid, there's bigger things to worry about rather than Materia."

The dark-haired woman nodded and smiled gently. "You have a point, Cid, but Yuffie promised her father she'd be back. Maybe you could give her a ride in the Highwind?"

"I ain't a damn taxi, Tifa," Cid grumbled, "But I'll do it. Ain't no tellin' how bad the damn Lifestream tore up the Planet." Tifa grinned at the older man. While his language was rather foul, he did have a good heart.

Suddenly, the stuffed animal whirled to life. He was just a grey and white cat with a little golden crown on his head and a red cape around his neck, carefully holding a megaphone. The cat used a stuffed pink Moogle as a means of getting around, although the toy was starting to look old and worn lately. While the animal would normally speak with a silly accent, this time, the words came out normal, as if the voice actor behind him was too tired to keep up the charade. "I'll be retiring Cait Sith for a while. There's still work to be done in Midgar." Just like that, the cat seemed to be a lifeless husk again. Even he didn't really seem to fit in with the band of misfits.

The man in dark clothing finally spoke, raising his red eyes to meet the group. "I have business to take care of," he said simply. Tifa, used Vincent's brooding, simply and smiled and offered, "We'll be here if you need us." The dark-haired man returned a nod in thanks.

Tifa was about to speak but was interrupted by the beast, Red. He looked upon each member of the group with golden eyes, as if he was searching for something. "Yuffie will go home, Barret will take care of Marlene, Cait Sith will retire, Cid will return to Rocket Town, Vincent will take care of his business, and I will remain at the Cosmo Canyon a while longer. What of you, Tifa, Cloud?"

Tifa blinked, not having anticipated the question. She cast a quick glance at the blond haired man she had known since childhood, only to find him still lost in his own thoughts. She started playing with her hair again. Everyone else seemed to have a rough idea of where they wanted to go or what they wanted to go, but she hadn't really given her own future much thought. She looked at Barret, who still had his arms crossed, and asked, "Would you mind if I came with you, Barret?"

The large man seemed to chuckle as he replied, "Naw, it'd do Marlene good with you bein' there. Thinkin' of headin' back to Midgar, start a new life, now that the Planet's safe and Shinra's gone."

"A new life, huh?" Tifa wondered the question aloud, but it seemed to be rhetorical. After the stress after Meteorfall, maybe a change of pace would do her good. Even though Midgar was not exactly where she wanted to be, she lacked a hometown to return to, or even a family to come back to. "Sounds like a good plan."

Cloud shifted his weight, uncomfortable with how he was sitting. His muscles were tense, and his glowing eyes still lost in thought, focusing on the dancing tendrils of the fire. He knew it would be his turn to speak, and announce his plans for the future. Truth be told, he hadn't even thought this far ahead.

"Well, Cloud?" His ears recognized it as Red's voice, and he felt everyone's eyes upon him. His mind scrambled to think of something, anything, but he didn't have all the time in the world to think. He finally raised his eyes from the fire and admitted, to himself and his friends, "…I need more time."

Tifa's gaze met Cloud's, and she gave him a friendly smile. It reminded him vaguely of his mother, and he relaxed slightly. She gently reminded him, "Don't worry too much about it, Cloud. Take some time and figure out what you want to do. We'll be here."

All he could do was nod.


	2. Thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

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**Chapter 2: Thoughts**

Even after his friends long since went to bed for the night, the blue-eyed man decided to stay up. Tifa was the last to leave; he had half-jokingly wondered if he would end up carrying her to bed. He didn't have a watch on him, but he figured it must have happened hours ago. The bonfire, fondly referred to as the Cosmo Candle by the locals, continued to burn. Cloud vaguely recalled that the Candle burned year-round, refusing to be extinguished.

Cloud tired of the heat and the grey smoke burning his lungs. His body shared the irritation from the smoke and heat with his mind; vaguely, he was reminded of Nibelheim, how his hometown was set aflame by his hero, how he lost all of his family and friends, how his childhood possessions were nothing but ash. He slowly rose to his feet, though he stumbled a bit, as his legs were asleep from the lack of movement. The prickling and tingling sensations sent a shiver up his spine, and though his legs were a bit wobbly, he figured that perhaps walking it off would be the best thing to do.

If he had been in a coma for the entire Meteor incident, he wouldn't have believed the comet was in the sky for so long. As they had for years and years, the stars shined brilliantly in the sky, twinkling in and out against hues of dark blue and purple. The moon, while no longer full, had entered its waning phase, but was still determined to shine its dim light as much as it could across the Planet's surface. With the removal of Meteor, the atmosphere looked just as it had for ages. It was almost surreal, to look up into the heavens, and not see impending doom slowly descending upon the Planet.

Cloud kept walking across the desert paths of Cosmo Canyon, aimlessly wandering in the moonlight. He had nowhere to go, nowhere that he needed to be. He was completely free to choose his own destiny, and the power the thought gave him was both overwhelming and frightening. Almost anything he wanted to do, he could do it. In a way, he almost felt like a child in a candy store – so many choices, but how would he go about choosing something?

Cloud walked down the stairs that served as the entrance and exit to the small village, and boldly headed into the desert. He wouldn't stray far from town, no, but he wanted to spend some one-on-one time with himself, and would rather be interrupted by a measly monster than another person. Truth be told, the entire Meteor incident left him drained, both mentally and physically. Or, maybe, it was his entire life to this point that left him so tired, with the Meteor incident being the icing on the proverbial cake.

He allowed his mind and soul to wander as freely as his feet did under the desert moonlight.

_When I was young, I thought I was better than the other children in Nibelheim. I didn't have any friends… That was my fault. Who would want to be friends with someone like that, someone like me?_ Cloud mused, putting one foot in front of the other, in an endless cycle. Where his feet would take him, he didn't even know. _Then Tifa went up to Mount Nibel; I followed. We both fell off the cliff, but… She fell into a coma for seven days. Everyone blamed me. I blamed me. If I hadn't been so weak, things could have been different._

A sigh escaped from his lips. He spotted a red rock, just large enough to sit on, just a few steps away. He'd wandered far enough from the town, without his sword, of all things. _I boasted about how I would become a SOLDIER, but I never got past being an infantryman. Then I got sent back to Nibelheim… I wouldn't even take off my helmet. _

His stomach sank, though he didn't know why. Was it… dread, maybe regret? _Nibelheim burned to the ground… But I suppose it would've happened even if I never decided to leave Nibelheim to join SOLDIER in the first place._

_I was an infantryman. They could have picked any other one for that mission. Sephiroth and Zack still would've gone. If I never left to join SOLDIER… The only difference would be that I wouldn't be at Nibelheim as part of the military, but as a civilian. Sephiroth would have gone insane and razed Nibeleheim anyway._ _Tifa's father would still be gone, my mother would still be dead, and our hometown destroyed. There wasn't anything I could do… And I got my revenge for it. I still don't know how I threw Sephiroth into the Lifestream._

Cloud closed his sky-blue eyes and sighed again. _Next thing I knew, I was in a tube of Mako. I'm still not sure for how long, why, or by who. If it weren't for Zack being there… I probably would've died there. _Maybe he'd been through more than he'd realized. _It's kind of fuzzy, but I remember Zack lugging me around the desert, when I couldn't even speak coherently or hardly even move. He could've left me for dead and saved himself, but he didn't._

In his mind, the landscape suddenly seemed eerily similar to the wasteland around Midgar. He blinked and tried to shudder off the memory. _He died fighting against Shinra troops to save me… I had Mako poisoning, but that didn't seem to matter to him. Would he have died if I were strong enough to pull myself together sooner? It was only three infantrymen at the end. _For the first time, in a long time, Cloud finally had the time to mull over the past. He wasn't sure if he liked it. _He saved me twice… And he was the best friend I'd ever had._

Cloud's entire body stiffened a bit, from head to toes. He still didn't like thinking about Aerith, or Zack, or the past… But he never really had the time to reflect before. _Then I forgot he even existed. I promised to protect Aerith, but I failed at that, too. I could have pushed her out of the way. I could've been stronger and resisted Sephiroth's will. Zack would've done everything to save her. I let Zack down. _

"So much for being a living legacy, huh?" he asked to the heavens. The only semblance of a response he got was the feeling of a gentle breeze brushing up against his skin and through his messy hair. He sat in silence for a long while, trying to urge his mind to stay just as quiet. Slowly, he started relaxing, until his blasted mind decided that thinking would be the best thing to do.

_If Sephiroth came back after what I did to him at Nibelheim… Does that mean he'll come back again?_

The mere thought sent shivers of anger, fear, and dread through his spine. He visibly shuddered, and suddenly felt very, very grateful that no one was around to observe him. He wanted to dismiss the thought as intrusive, perhaps morbid curiosity, but the logical part of his brain wouldn't let it go. After all, Sephiroth had already returned once. Who's to say that he wouldn't have a second revival? Or a third? Or even a fourth?

Cloud desperately tried to calm and comfort himself. _No… He didn't have a Lifestream to fall into this time. He's deader than dead. He'll stay that way. I hope._

With the burdens of six failures on his shoulders, he rose to his feet steadily. He wasn't the strongest person, not that he'd admit that to just anybody, but he tried to get better, stronger. He slowly started walking, almost reminiscent of a wolf sulking in the wild forests, almost eager to go to sleep now, almost eager to give his tired body and mind a well-deserved rest.


	3. Antiquity

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

**Author's Note: I don't have too much to say other than thanks for reading, and double-thanks for reviews! I'm not the best author by any means, so every little bit of feedback, good or bad, helps. Without further ado, here's Chapter 3! Hoping to have Chapter 4, and maybe 5, pushed out within the next few days.**

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**Chapter 3: Antiquity**

Try as he might, the young man just could not force himself into restful slumber. The couch, as pretty as it was with a checkered blue and green fabric, belied its comfort – or rather, lack thereof. The springs would press into his back, or if he turned onto his side, into his ribs, poking away any chance of a good night's sleep as much as it poked away at the comfort he could have had. Tired as he was, his memory didn't seem bothered, as it cheerfully reminded him of the last time he slept on that very couch not too long ago. Ironically, a few months ago, he had slept well in this very spot.

He opened his sky-blue eyes just a smidge. Thankfully, household interiors in the Cosmo Canyon seemed to lack windows, and the low light level of the torches attached to the wall made it easier for his eyes to adjust. He laid quietly, observing the state of the room in his hazy mind. The robotic cat was propped against the corner. A girl, who obviously hailed from Wutai, sprawled out on one of the two beds, seemingly unaware of how good her current sleeping arrangement was. On the other bed was a muscular man sleeping beside a man who looked older than his years. A red cat-like creature was curled into a ball in the corner of the room. A dark-haired man, who may or may not have been asleep, sat in the opposite corner. That man always behaved oddly, it seemed.

_Cait Sith, Yuffie, Barret, Cid, Red, Vincent…_ His consciousness finally seemed able to communicate with his memory. _…Tifa?_ Cloud's eyes scanned the room again, but sure enough, she was gone. It wasn't atypical of her. During their journey, she had often woken up before anyone else, usually to make breakfast for the eccentric group. She always seemed to bring a sense of normalcy to the otherwise odd team.

Cloud got off the couch, giving it a slight scowl in return for robbing him of some good rest. He must have been exhausted the night before; he hadn't even changed into proper sleeping attire. He refused to dwell on the thought for too long, for there were more important matters to attend to. He was always slightly anxious when he woke up in the morning and someone was missing.

He left the room, closing the wooden door softly. While he might not have been able to get much, if any sleep, hopefully his friends could. He found himself leaning over the fence in the balcony-hallway that overlooked the main entrance of the inn. Not a soul to be found – not even the innkeeper's. _Guess I slept less than I thought._

Leaving the inn behind him, he used his hand to cover his eyes as he stepped into the sunlight of the outside world. Compared to the lighting indoors, the sun was blinding. Thankfully, his sight quickly accustomed itself to the bright environment, and his search for Tifa resumed. _If anywhere… She would be off getting food, _he reasoned. _…Are the shops even open yet?_

It was a question he would rather answer firsthand. Heading down the main street of the town, he watched as the shopkeepers slowly set up their wares and chatted amongst each other. Cloud overheard some bits of gossip, but the names, events and places meant nothing to him. There were a few early-bird women getting some fresh fruits and vegetables for their families, but still no Tifa.

The path eventually led him to the Cosmo Candle. He still couldn't wrap his mind around how it could burn all day and night, regardless of the weather. If the flame had been alive, its tenacity would be admirable. But even its perseverance couldn't shine as bright as the young woman sitting next to it. He had found her.

She cocked her head his way once she heard his footsteps. Cracking a playfully smile, she noted Cloud's messier than usual hair and chirped, "Good morning! Looks like someone slept well."

"I think… The couch slept better," Cloud scoffed, though the fondness in his eyes belied his feigned annoyance.

Tifa chuckled at him, "You could sleep next to Yuffie next time." His mind recalled the sleeping figure of the somewhat crude teenager as he mumbled, "I'll pass." He took a seat next to Tifa as she chortled at his somewhat cheesy remarks. A moment of silence passed, as comfortable as the morning sunlight and gentle breeze. He couldn't help but notice as Tifa's eyes stared wistfully into the depths of the sky.

Cloud shifted his weight, noting Tifa's body wasn't truly reflecting what her soul felt. He debated if he should put his hand on her shoulder to free her from her thoughts, but his instincts opted for a gentle smile. It was small, but it was still there, although he didn't realize it. She always tried to comfort others when they felt down. Maybe it was time for him to return the favor. Thankfully, it wasn't long before Tifa's gaze returned to the ground, then to his face. Her eyebrows rose quizzically. Was he being odd?

It wasn't like him to break the silence, but it also wasn't like him to comfort people. Just as Tifa had asked him countless times throughout his life, he turned the question to her, "Tifa. What's wrong?"

"Cloud…" Tifa started, "You're smiling."

Somewhat dumbfounded, and surprised at the response, he reciprocated, "I am?" He was expecting something much worse, like perhaps morbid thoughts of the future or reminiscing of the past.

Tifa simply nodded at him, before adding a hasty, "Yeah."

Cloud thought for a moment. He preferred to choose his words carefully. He'd rather give a short, direct answer then something more superfluous, or something that could be twisted to have an entirely different meaning than what he intended. He had heard others wonder if he was a tad socially awkward, but they would only whisper those things if they thought he was out of earshot. He didn't think he was like that… Though he supposed he could be.

But others didn't matter at that moment. It was him, Tifa, and the Cosmo Candle. There was no Meteor hanging over his head, inching slower and slower to the Planet to unleash unheard-of devastation. It was over. Although he would always carry the past with him, or at least a part of it, he could move forward like the world was starting to, right?

"It all starts now. A new…" Cloud paused, searching for just the right words. Tifa watched him, patiently waiting for him to finish, as she always had. "A new life," Cloud finished, with a nod. She could sense that he still had more to say and smiled at him, coaxing him to continue. "I'm going to live. I think that's the only way I could be forgiven," he added. He had a lot to atone for, but so did the rest of his friends… After all, he helped get the Planet into the mess it was in, and because of that, the Planet also lost a beautiful soul. "All sorts of things… happened," he mentioned off-handedly, as though he debated stating the obvious.

Tifa tried urging him to continue, "That's right." It wasn't often that he truly opened to anybody like he currently was. It was an opportunity that couldn't be wasted.

Cloud smirked, as though he was recalling an incredibly funny joke. "But… I thought about how many times I've thought about how I was going to start a new life. It's funny."

Tifa seemed visibly confused, but she wondered if Cloud had more to say. "Why?"

"Because… I've always failed everything," Cloud explained. He noticed Tifa pouting at him as she chided, "That's not funny." In response, he shrugged. It seemed funnier in his head. Then again, how often do successful people think about starting a new life? His sense of humor was always a bit offbeat. But, on the other hand, he recalled that Tifa didn't care to hear her friends belittle themselves. Trying to put her at ease, he offered, "After this… I think I'll be okay."

Instead of prodding him with another question, Tifa noticed that he seemed to have more to say. She stayed silent, tolerating the lull in the conversation. Cloud shifted his weight again, somewhat uncomfortable. There was a lot that he wanted to say, so much, in fact, that he wasn't quite sure how to condense it down.

He had mulled over the past last night by his lonesome. There were a lot of questions, a lot of what if's. There was some doubt, some failures… and some freedom. He figured it would take him years to fully come to terms with his past, but did he really have years to do nothing but brood about it? Life would march on, with or without him. It would be easier for him in the long run to hop on the metaphorical train before it departs from its station, even if he didn't quite know where the tracks would take it.

And while he had lost a lot over the course of his life – friends, family, his hometown – and while he had failed a lot, too… Despite all the things fate had thrown his way, he was still alive. He also recognized that he probably wouldn't be alive in the first place, if it hadn't been for his friends. _Back in the Lifestream… I couldn't even piece my own mind together by myself._

And, finally, he finished, "Because I have you this time." Tifa seemed taken aback by his conclusion. She gently reminded him, "But you've always had me."

He shrugged again but offered Tifa another smile as he clarified, "What I mean… is kind of different."

The pair sat in a comfortable silence for a short while, simply enjoying each other's company. Cloud noticed that Tifa seemed to be slightly unnerved, but overall, her mood seemed much improved from just moments ago.

_What I mean… is kind of different_. Cloud contemplated the sentence in his head. The words weren't as precise as he would've preferred. Had he really always had Tifa? _We weren't exactly childhood friends…_ His mind pondered the past, his younger years, carefully. She had always been important to him, sometimes in more ways than one, but they hadn't been close as children. _She wasn't really there until we met in Midgar_.

It seemed that the more time marched on, the more complex and crucial his past became. It was always there, a shadow of him, almost like a phantom. It wasn't something he could escape… But it was something he could learn to live with, he supposed.

"Tifa?" Cloud asked, wondering if the woman was lost in her thoughts again. She turned to face him, an inquisitive look in her shimmering eyes. Realizing he was successful in obtaining her attention, he continued, "Let's go back to the inn." With an affable smile and a nod, she returned, "Good idea. The others should be waking up soon, anyway."

* * *

"'Bout time you two showed up! Was wonderin' where y'all wandered off to," hollered Cid as Cloud and Tifa entered the room. Cloud, half-listening to the conversation around him, deftly shut the door behind him, while Tifa replied, "Just out for a morning walk." The chain-smoker pilot smirked in return. While the dark-haired woman decided to keep standing as she chatted to her friends, Cloud opted for the more comfortable alternative and reclaimed his spot on the couch.

With the group of eight spread across the room, the bits and pieces of the chit-chatting seemed to swirl around him, like the winds from a thunderstorm. His ears would pick up the odd fragment periodically, but for the most part, he was content just being.

"What? No breakfast?"

"Yer a woman too, ain't ya?"

_It won't always be like this. _One day, the jesting banter would be gone. As time marched on, they would be destined to go their different ways. Cloud had a feeling that the impending splintering of their group would happen sooner rather than later. _We lost so much already… Will we lose each other, too?_

"Well! I don't see a kitchen in here, do you?"

"Jus' use the fridge over there!"

_I don't want to lose them._ _We lost Aerith… That's more than enough_.

Aerith, the flower girl, the last Cetra, with a heart as pure as light, she had made the ultimate sacrifice for them, for all living things, for the Planet. If it hadn't been for her, who knows how things would have played out? Cloud wondered if they even fully appreciated what she had done for them, for everyone. _…And we never even gave her a proper funeral. _It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing, right?

"'Ey, Spiky! What's on your mind?" Barret's voice boomed, snapping Cloud back to the reality at hand. Cloud's eyes met Tifa's, then Barret's. Calmly, but confidently, he declared, "I want to go back to the Forgotten Capital." Returning his gaze to Tifa, he half-wondered if he saw a flicker of grief in their ruby depths. Noticing that Barret was about to open his mouth again, Cloud answered the question before it could be asked, "Aerith sacrificed her life for us. The least we can do is give her a proper funeral."

The jokes stopped. Collectively, the group, as if the somewhat distasteful humor had never even happened, seemed to grow sullen. Nodding at Cloud, the airship pilot could only muster, "I'll fly us there."

Despite the many, many times he had ridden in the Highwind, Cloud never could brace himself for the motion sickness that joined him for the expeditions. Thankfully, he found his feet on solid ground before too long, but the nausea decided to stay with him just a while longer.

Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, Barret Wallace, Red XIII, Cid Highwind, Yuffie Kisaragi, Vincent Valentine, Cait Sith… They had all been touched, or even blessed, as Cloud would argue, in one way or another by Aerith. _She left our lives as quickly as she came._ They all stood by the pool of water, grieving in silence.

_I'm sorry._

Cloud stood wordlessly between Tifa and Barret. The latter seemed lost in thoughts, as though the tragic moment was sinking in, but also as though he accepted it for what it was. The former… She seemed to be in another poor mood, to put it mildly. Even if he had a week's notice, he wouldn't have been prepared for that strong warrior, the one who had never left his side for the past few months, to break into tears.

_I made a mistake._

Suddenly feeling awkward, Cloud observed each and every one of his friends gingerly. Even if they hadn't all been smiling before their departure, they certainly weren't so somber before. His mind replayed to him a vision of just a few nights ago, where they sat around the Cosmo Candle after the Lifestream had pushed Meteor away, when they slowly figured out what they each wanted from life. Even if they would be splintering off in different directions, they would each be pushing onward.

_I'm just dragging them backward._


	4. Splintering

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

**Author's Note: Don't have too much to say, other than Chapter 5 is about halfway done right now, and after a good proofreading, should be up within a few days. Thanks for reading Strife so far!  
**

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**Chapter 4: Splintering**

To him, it was just another sleepless night, full of tossing and turning and thinking. The team had retreated to the safety of the Highwind as the sun and moon switched places in the celestial sphere above. While they had slept in countless places around the world, they had always rested together. And that, too, was about to come to an end, it seemed.

The moon wasn't just full that eventide. The light it shone was nearly divine, even if it paled in comparison to what the sun would give in the morning. The gentle glow washed over the landscape as far as the eye could see, seeping down to the earth between the branches of the trees. It was almost as if the setting was right from an empyrean painting. While the night was still, his mind was anything but.

He knew what would set with the moon, in just mere hours from now. This chapter of his life, where he traveled the Planet to save it from some otherworldly force, was about to close. He wasn't alone; that chapter was closing for everyone. He realized that while it was also closing for the others, they already had a vague idea of what the next episode of their life would bring.

His intuition perceived a disconnection between his soul and mind.

The rational part of him realized that the world would be different after Meteorfall. Monsters had been plaguing the Planet for his entire life, and probably even before then, but working as a monster-slaying mercenary could only take him so far. There was no economic monopoly to fight against for a paycheck. There was no harbinger of doom searing across the sky. There was no Sephiroth. There was no Aerith. He would have to adapt, or he'd never have a place in the new world.

His soul begged to differ. He had lost so much throughout his life, usually when his future would start looking brighter. Would this time really be any different? Even if the world was different, he was still Cloud. But then again, it wasn't as though he'd be completely alone this time… But, then again, holding so many people close to his heart would make it more painful when – not if – he lost them.

From time to time, he could have sworn he heard a voice telling him, "It'll be alright." He didn't know if it was Aerith's voice or his own. He tried to write it off as his sleep-deprived mind playing tricks on him, even if that wasn't what he wanted to believe.

_I'm sorry._ The words played over and over in his mind, as though it were stuck in an endless loop. The sight of pain in Tifa's ruby eyes burned in his mind. _If I wasn't so selfish… I should've come alone._ He was sure Tifa wanted to move on too, but here he was, spinning his wheels. _I'm sorry._

His mind bitterly reminded him of Zack and Aerith. Memories of them flashed in his sight; even the older memories were as clear as day. One moment, he was in a yellow truck; the next, he was releasing Aerith's lifeless body into the depths of the spring. He even fell through the roof of the Church for a second time, and met Aerith all over again.

_What if… I was strong enough to pull myself out of mako poisoning sooner? _

Zack wouldn't have had to cart around a vegetative shell of a man across the world, his mind rancorously spat. Instead of being a burden, he could have done something with himself. _I could have killed those infantrymen. He could have been alive._

_What if… I was strong enough to resist Sephiroth's will?_

He could have found Aerith. He could have warned her of her impending death. He could have done something – anything – and she would still live. And even if he couldn't have warned her… He could have been there to save her, just like he had promised to her.

_What if… I was never just a hair too late?_

_Every time I've gotten myself together… It was after I already lost something. First with Tifa, then with Zack, then with Aerith…_He bitterly half-wondered if Tifa were only alive due to some freak miracle. _The next time something happens… Will I be ready?_ The question, to him, was when rather than if. Something was bound to come up. It was always something. He may not know when, or where, but he could say with certainty that there would always be another something up the road.

_I want to be ready._

The schism between his mind and soul only deepened with the guilt. It wasn't just as simple as moving onward. He had already forgotten Zack once. He didn't want to forget him, or Gaea forbid, Aerith, ever again, not after what they did for him.

* * *

As the Planet slowly rotated on its axis, slowly but steadily, the moon could not keep up. Slowly, but steadily, it appeared to drop out of the atmosphere. The gentle, pale moonlight slowly began to recede, creeping back up through the branches of the trees, abandoning the Planet's surface yet again, just as it had for eons. As if it were trying to fill the void in the sky, the sun began to rise, casting its light where the moonlight once shined, through the branches of the trees, blanketing everything in a comfortable, soothing glow.

When Cloud roused from his slumber, his soul became haunted with dread, anxiety, and sorrow. He knew this day would come. It astounded him, how despite the impending metamorphosis his life was about to endure, how the world around him seemed so normal.

He had just managed to change into something more presentable than a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt when he heard Tifa holler, "Breakfast time! Come and get it!" A part of him wanted to resist the calling, as if not going to breakfast would bring time and change to a grinding halt. The more rational part of him recognized that with, or without, him, life would march on. He was suddenly reminded of the trains in Midgar. They had always kept going, and going, and going, regardless of the turbulence of the world around them. If his life were a train, it would be docked at the station, awaiting its departure. But, unlike the trains in Midgar, where would his go? Where would the tracks lead?

His mind recognized that even though he might not know where his metaphorical train would take him, he needed to get on it. But his soul struggled against it. Previous metaphorical trains in his life led him to nothing but loss and sorrow before; why would this train be any different?

_I'm not ready._

Cloud was the last one to arrive to the makeshift dining table. It wasn't uncommon for them to eat outside – Aerith had always joked it was like camping, even if she had never camped in her life – but he'd rather not see the Forgotten Capital all around him. Not right then, anyway. As he took a seat, Tifa thrust a plate of bacon, pancakes, eggs, and toast in front of him. The others wished him a good morning, before returning to their chit-chat amongst themselves. Even if their journey to save the Planet had been short, they had grown close to each other. In a way, they were almost like a family, an odd family, but a family nonetheless.

It was their last breakfast together.

Cloud listened to the chatter more intently than he usually did, although he kept silent until he was addressed directly. The food was good, although it always was; he savored it even more than usual. Even if the scenery wouldn't be his first choice, he had to admit that, at the very least, the weather was good.

Just as she always had, Tifa collected the dirty, empty dishes and put them into a plastic bucket, filled with soapy, although slightly chilly, water. And, just as she always had, Yuffie joined Tifa, although not willingly. Tifa had always coaxed Yuffie into trying her hand at chores when able, telling the teenager that they were skills she would need to learn sooner or later. While Yuffie would always pout somewhat at that, she didn't seem to mind helping out a bit.

Before Cloud realized it, the dishes were cleaned and put away, and much to his annoyance, so were the dining table and chairs. It was just them, the Highwind, and the Planet. It was time.

The group stood silently. No one knew quite what to say. They all knew the moment was coming, that it was inevitable, but now that it was finally upon them, no one seemed sure of how to handle it. It was Vincent, who rarely ever broke silences, who choose to speak up first, in a slightly stoic tone, "Bye." And, with that simple message, the dark-haired man had already begun walking away, into the depths of the forest.

_Should I… try to stop him?_

While Cloud was trying to determine if he was just being selfish or if he was unwilling to face the future, or perhaps a bit of both, seeing Yuffie bolt after the mysterious man surprised him, shouting at Vincent to, "Hold it! Hoooold it!"

What wasn't surprising, at least to him, was how Vincent continued walking. He wasn't that far away, not yet, and the conversation between the teenager and man was as clear as day. "How can you part with us just like that? We're all war buddies you know!" Vincent didn't stop his marching until Yuffie threw herself in front of him. He paused for a moment, almost as if he was unsure of what to do, but just a moment later, Yuffie stepped back. Cloud was almost taken aback when he heard Vincent mumble, "Take care."

Yuffie bounced back to the remainder of the group, announcing, "Looks like he has somewhere to go." Cid nodded, adding, "To his woman probably. Time I got goin' too." Barret leapt on the opportunity, continuing off of what Cid said, "Yeah, you're right. Same for me." Cloud's gaze was focused on the adolescent. He understood where she was coming from, absolutely, but he didn't want to try to display his feelings like she did.

"You know… You guys sure are taking this lightly." Cloud wondered if Yuffie wasn't quite ready to face the future, either. Cloud wanted to say something, anything, but he didn't have much to say. He couldn't stop life from marching on. He didn't have godlike powers. He was just Cloud. "Jus' means we know we can always meet again," Cid assured her._ …Something like that._ Cloud nodded, not truly in agreement with the man, but still wanting to contribute something.

Cloud, Tifa, Barret, Cid, and Red started walking back to the airship, leaving Yuffie abandoned. Cloud almost felt it was cruel to leave her like that. _When I was her age… I wasn't ready to handle the world alone, either._ Cloud paused, while the others started to board the Highwind. He looked back at Yuffie. He wanted to do something, anything, but there was nothing he could do. He could merely look on as Yuffie tried forcing herself into optimism, "Yeah. Let's go!"

_That's the end of that._ Or so he thought, until Barret boomed, "Hey! Wait!" Cloud looked at Barret, wondering what the issue was. He watched as Barret removed Materia from his prosthetic arm and handed it to him. Their gazes met, and Cloud wondered if he was about to experience something significant. Nodding at the man, Cloud accepted the Materia and slid it into his pants pocket. "Cloud, what do we do with this?" Barret questioned. Cloud thought for a moment, not having an answer prepared beforehand.

He was ripped from his thoughts as Yuffie shouted, "Wait!" It was almost as if she remembered something important. Their journey was over; what other loose threads could be left to unravel? As though Yuffie could read minds, she explained, "Can I have all the… No, I mean, can I just have half of all the Materia?" _Figures_. Yuffie continued, "I'll bring them back to Wutai with me and keep them in safe custody. Well, I'll use them too maybe. Just a little." The way she used finger quotes around "custody" was a bit unnerving.

Cloud watched the teenager, as she went on about her idea, "I was in the middle of hunting for Materia you know. I got close to you all because I was following my instincts as a Materia hunter. The Materia you all had was just too tempting. To be honest with you, I didn't really know what you were all after or much about your past. Even now, I think it's the same. But I fought with you all, didn't I? And it wasn't because of the Materia. I just wanted to be of use, even if I wasn't much. We're friends now. Come on, think about it! How many times have I saved you all from pinches?"

Cloud felt like it was his turn to speak. He was, after all, the unofficial leader of the group during their journey. Shouldn't it be his duty to distribute whatever treasure they found along the way? Before Cloud could open his mouth, Tifa was already addressing the issue, "Yeah, you helped us many times. You're an ideal child, so cheery and strong."

Cloud almost wanted to laugh at the perplexed expression on Yuffie's face. _I think… I know where she's going with this._ Yuffie, as though she were a child receiving the best surprise present in the world, exclaimed, "Are you serious!?" Tifa confirmed the reality of the situation with a nod and a smile. Yuffie giggled childishly, seeming very pleased with herself. Cloud turned to Barret, asking, "Barret. What do you think?"

"It's true that Yuffie's a good friend of ours. But it's a whole 'nother matter when it comes to Materia, isn't it?" mused Barret, biting his lip. Cloud looked on as Yuffie tried to defend herself, "No, it isn't! It's the same. The same! I know it may be all over now that we've defeated Sephiroth, but I have a great dream and that's to restore Wutai. To do that, having Materia is crucial." Clearing his throat, Cid finally spoke up, "Restoration, eh? If that's what you need it for, ain't Midgar much worse off?"

Cloud weighed his options heavily. Would it really be wise to entrust a sixteen year old teenager to so many powerful, destructive Materia? And, if they were to use Materia to try to restore parts of the world that were probably damaged by the Lifestream, wouldn't it be best to use it in Midgar? Midgar, after all, had a higher population than Wutai. There would probably be more people in need of aid in Midgar.

Cloud felt all eyes on him – Tifa, Yuffie, Barret, Cid, and Red. They were all waiting on him to make the final call. He couldn't just ignore what Yuffie wanted or needed, but he couldn't ignore the possibility of thousands upon thousands of people in need of aid, either. He nodded, as if to confirm his thoughts internally, and offered, "How about this? We'll give you all the Materia… But I'll keep it in safe custody."

He watched as Yuffie's face lit up then fell into a pout. She stood up tall, well, as tall as someone her height could, and challenged, "Are you trying to trick a child here!?" Cloud shook his head, before explaining, "You got it all wrong. Most of our Materia are used for battle, right? It really won't be of much use for Wutai. So, we'll just share the ones that will be of use in healing, and I'll keep the rest. I think I'm the one that's the most experienced when it comes to dangerous Materia."

Judging by the look on her face, Yuffie didn't seem pleased by the compromise. Taking a deep breath, perhaps to calm her nerves, she tried arguing her case in a new way. "It's true we don't need any equipment for battles any more, but…" she started, meeting Cloud's sky-blue eyes with her own before continuing, "Even if we can't use them, we'll feel much more at ease with them, won't we?"

Somewhat relieved that Yuffie had started acting like an adult, if only for a brief moment, Cloud weighed her concerns in his head. He felt like he had to keep the Materia, though he could clearly see how much the adolescent wanted it. "Then… let's do this. You return to Wutai, but… if you feel uneasy without Materia then contact me. We'll think about it again then."

Though she still pouted slightly, Yuffie nodded before agreeing, "Fine. You be sure to take good care of my Materia."

Cid coughed awkwardly, trying to steal the spotlight to himself for just a moment. "Daylight's wastin'! I take it y'all are goin' to take advantage of my hospitality, ain't ya?"

Cloud smirked slightly. Cid's concept of hospitality had become a running joke in their short time together. Cid must have noticed the look on Cloud's face, because just moments later, he exclaimed, "Shit. Where do y'all need to go?"

With a grin, Red spoke up first. "I'd like to return to Cosmo Canyon, if it's not too out of the way." Piggybacking off of Red, Yuffie chirped, "And I need to head back to Wutai!"

"Well? What 'bout you three?"

…_Us three?_ Cloud hadn't really thought about it, at least, not too much. He could always follow in Vincent's footsteps and go his own way, he supposed. _...I told Tifa I'd be there for her._ He reminded himself of the other morning and decided that wherever she went, he would follow. He had broken too many promises in his life before. He wasn't about to break another. Cloud looked at Tifa, wondering where she would want to go. Just as he was about to ask her, she turned to Barret and said, "Well, Barret? Let's stick together for a while."

The large man groaned as he thought. Cloud watched as Barret tapped his foot erratically, as if the man were trying to channel his thoughts through his limb. He half-wondered if he should toss a suggestion at Barret. _But… where would we go?_ They were heading to Midgar at one point, but were they really heading back so soon?

"Drop us off at Corel!" Barret practically roared. Cloud raised his eyebrowcuriously. _Corel…?_

Nodding at the man, almost as if they had some sort of mutual understanding, Cid ordered, "Time to get goin'! Sit your asses down, hold onto your drawers, and don't piss in 'em!" Yuffie laughed so hard, that she almost did exactly what Cid told her not to do. Tifa and Barret even cracked grins, remembering the man spitting out those same exact words at various points throughout their journey.

The group's splintering was slower than Cloud had anticipated, but he couldn't say he was ungrateful for it. After all, they were fine so far, right?

_Maybe… this won't be as bad as I thought._


	5. Ire

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

******Author's Note: Just wanted to say thanks for reading and reviewing! Chapter 6 is on its way, probably within a week. It's about half-way done right now, but about twice as long as the other chapters... Might just split it up and post it in multiple parts, because Chapter 6 is pretty critical to Cloud's character development. That said, enjoy Chapter 5!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Ire**

Cloud watched as the Highwind took to the skies, leaving the group of three behind. They were just two men and a woman, surrounded in all directions by miles and miles of wasteland. Whatever this section of the Planet looked like hundreds of years ago, it most certainly didn't resemble its current state. Large slabs of brown rock were buried by layers of dirt and sand. One had to be incredibly careful where they stepped. Occasionally, sections of the rocky crust were missing, though the sand had long since filled the resulting void. One wrong step, and the wasteland could swallow a person whole.

The sun seared his skin; the harsh light burned his eyes. The daylight heated up the crust of the Planet to sweltering temperatures. It was no wonder that plant and animal life was lacking. _I feel like I'm in an oven._ He was already sweating; he could feel, and smell, it. _How long will we be here?_ He may not have wanted to travel to any destination in particular, but at that moment, anywhere else could have been better.

Cloud glanced over at Barret. The man seemed lost in his thoughts, completely oblivious to the heat around him. Barret stared off into the distance, though Cloud couldn't tell if he was looking at the mountains beyond, the mountains that marked the end of the scorching desert, or if he was looking at the remains of Corel Prison, previously known, simply, as Corel.

"Barret," Cloud started, trying his best to get the man's attention. Before he could continue, Barret had already cut him off, announcing in a gruff voice, "Awright. See them ruins over there? That's where we're headed. Not goin' to go anywhere jus' standin' here!" And, with that, the man had already begun his march upon the ruins. Cloud followed dutifully, trying to put himself into Barret's shoes. It was as though Barret was trying to be optimistic, or trying to sound tough. If that was his goal, Cloud thought he failed miserably. He wasn't the best at reading people, not always, but even he could tell something was off in Barret's voice. He glanced over to Tifa, as though he were searching for answers. She, in return, gave him a small smile. She looked like she had something she wanted to say but was waiting for the perfect opportunity.

Cloud wished that Cid could have dropped them off a bit closer. The heat didn't bother him overly much, but he was already tired of it.

As the trio pressed onward, the buildings in the distance slowly got larger, closer. They would figure out why Barret led them here soon enough, Cloud figured. He couldn't wrap his mind around why Barret would return to Corel in the first place. Most of the townsfolk had already moved to North Corel, leaving the remains of Old Corel as a prison – literally. Why not go see them, if he wanted to meet up with his past again so badly?

When they reached Corel's entrance, the smell of rust overwhelmed Cloud's nose. It hadn't been this bad before, had it? The place was just as run down as ever, and, if it were even possible, coated with even more dirt and sand. Had the people at Corel Prison fled after Meteorfall, using the confusion as a cover? Or were the guards just too shaken up to care anymore?

"You two know why we came here?" asked Barret, eying up both Cloud and Tifa. Tifa nodded at him; Cloud couldn't help but notice she seemed a little sad. Her sense of empathy was always a bit strong, and as far as Cloud could figure out, she was somewhat close to Barret. If Tifa considered someone her friend, their problems became her problems, too.

"It's your hometown," Cloud offered, recalling the story Barret had told them on their journey. Barret seemed displeased with the answer, even though it was technically correct. "There's more to it than that, Spiky." Cloud stayed silent, unsure if Barret wanted him to give the inquiry another shot, or if Barret wanted to explain himself more clearly. It must have been the former, because after a moment, Barret's frown deepened. "You know what started this whole mess, for me? It was that damn Mako, and all the shit that happened 'cause of it."

"Barret…" Tifa started, reaching a hand out to him to rest on his shoulder, trying to calm him. As tough as he tried to be, he, just like everyone else, had emotions to deal with.

"I lost my wife. My best friend. My arm. Everybody hated me, blamed me for what happened. I gotta keep on livin', carryin' those sins. Not just for me, but for Marlene, too." He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. After a few minutes, he nodded as if he was answering some question in his mind, then announced, "Awright then. You two, stay here, and don't follow me. I'll be back soon."

Cloud watched as Barret walked into Corel's remains, the shadow of what was formerly a decent town. Frowning a bit, he looked around and spotted a metal pipe nearby, and decided to help himself to a seat. He patted the spot next to him and nodded at Tifa, his way of asking her to sit with him. Tifa looked at where Barret stood not even a few minutes ago, then took Cloud's nonverbal suggestion. The two would probably be waiting for quite some time.

"He's remembering what he's fighting for," Tifa explained, crossing her legs and resting her chin in her hand. Cloud nodded at her, before adding, "It's… not always a bad thing to remember the past." He wasn't quite sure if he were right or wrong on that one. On the one hand, it was possible to learn from the past, but on the other hand, it was just as possible to get lost in it and drown. The past made it possible to move towards a future, but it was a great weight that could keep one from moving, too.

Tifa smiled at him in silent agreement. "You know," she drawled, "Now that I think about it, we're pretty close to Nibelheim." Cloud narrowed his eyes, making sure his brain understood what she just said. _…She wants us to go to Nibelheim?_ Was he just overthinking it? After a moment, he decided to run the thought by her. After she had gotten so upset at the Forgotten Capital, was it really such a good idea to go to their hometown? "Tifa… Do you want to go to Nibelheim?" Cloud wondered aloud, watching her carefully.

"Hm…" Tifa paused for a moment, clearly thinking about the idea. Cloud waited patiently for her response. A part of him hoped that she would say no, but the other part of him hoped she would say yes. Though he wouldn't admit it, even if asked directly, he respected Barret for being able to stare his past in the face, like he did when they got to Corel. Cloud wasn't sure that he could do the same. Tifa's answer separated him from his train of thought. "I think it would be a good idea. Kind of like Barret, it could remind us of what we're fighting for."

…_Am I really fighting for anything right now?_ Maybe a brighter future, but that would be the war his friends were waging, not him, right? He wasn't sure if it was the desert heat or the conflicting thoughts running through his brain, but his head throbbed in pain. But, then again, Tifa usually seemed to know what she was doing. If she thought it was a good idea, maybe it would be. At least, that's what Cloud tried to tell himself.

"Well, Cloud? What do you think?" Tifa pressed. She must have wanted a quicker answer than he could provide. He decided to run with his internal reasoning – however shaky it may be – for just a while, just long enough to say, "Then it's settled. We'll go back to Nibelheim." For some reason, he regretted the words as they came out of his mouth. Maybe it was just his mind being silly again. Maybe the heat was baking his brain.

Tifa gave him a gentle smile, and together, the pair waited patiently for their friend's return.

* * *

The scintillating sun had already crested in the cerulean sky and begun its slow tumble down to the horizon by the time that Barret returned. There was something peculiar about how the man carried himself, Cloud noted. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from the man's shoulders, or perhaps his heart. A spark of determination burned in the man's dark eyes. It was the same sparkle he had when Cloud started working for Avalanche and when the two fought alongside each other in combat.

Almost as if he could read Cloud's mind, or perhaps trying to reassure his friends that nothing was wrong, Barret boomed, "Awright! Got a load off my chest. Now what're we gonna do?" Cloud frowned slightly. Would he be able to walk like that, talk like that, act like that, after their visit to Nibelheim?

"Well…" Tifa started, looking at Cloud and giving him a gentle, reassuring smile, "Cloud and I were talking about it. Would you mind if we stopped at Nibelheim?" Barret studied Cloud briefly, as if he were trying to understand what was going on inside of his head. Cloud stared back at the man, enduring the uncomfortable glance. He had never enjoyed being gawked at. Suddenly cracking a large grin, almost ear-to-ear, Barret loudly declared, "Sounds good to me! Will remind you two…" he paused, motioning at Tifa and Cloud with his normal hand, "…What's worth fightin' for."

The regret he felt when he told Tifa that they would travel to Nibelheim bubbled in his stomach. It was becoming unbearable, the dread, the anxiety. Finally, Cloud spoke up, "That's what Tifa told me." Barret clearly didn't understand where Cloud was going with his train of thought. "And?" Cloud paused for a moment, trying to gather his brain's internal monologue into something more intelligible. "Aren't we supposed to… be moving on?"

"Good thinkin'! Got a few more hours 'til sunset. Let's get goin'," Barret nodded in complete agreement. Before Cloud could open his mouth to clarify what he meant, Barret had already started marching to the northwest.

…_I meant moving on from the past._

Slightly confused, but also aware that once Barret got going, he wouldn't stop, he fell in behind Barret and Tifa, just as they had when they started their journey to save the Planet.

* * *

With every step they took, Nibelheim got that much closer. Though they had left the sandy wastelands behind them, the Planet was starting to morph into a rockier form, albeit with hardy shrubs and occasional patches of grass sprinkled about the landscape. The sun and moon had tangoed in the celestial sphere above them, rising and falling. The rhythmic thumps of their footsteps upon the rocky surface became a mind-numbing drone, lulling their minds into a daze, at least, until the next ambush the monsters would attempt. Even the ambushes grew monotonous after the first handful. The silly creatures were crushed like bugs under a boot, time after time.

The tedium of it all was driving Cloud insane and did nothing to soothe his anxious heart, or his racing mind.

_I want to turn back…_Turn back, to where? Midgar? Corel? The Cosmo Canyon? Who was there to go back to? Cid? Vincent? Yuffie? And why? To avoid the past? To avoid the future? To avoid the present?

His mood soured even more as Tifa gave him yet another gentle, motherly smile. He knew she meant the best, she always did, but there were times were he questioned her methods, not her motivations. What was she trying to do? Was she trying to push him into moving forward by throwing the past right into his face? And, if she was, why was she doing that by throwing her past right back into her face, too? Was she ready to deal with it? And, if she wasn't, was it just a sacrifice that she was making for him?

Ignoring Tifa, he eyed up Barret. Why would he want to tag along for this? Had he and Tifa talked behind his back? _I feel like I'm being played with._ Barret knew about Nibelheim, what had happened, what significance it held, or perhaps once held, in Cloud and Tifa's life. Why was he so gung-ho about heading to that town? Weren't they supposed to be heading to Midgar soon? Did they really have time to waste like this?

There were too many questions, and not enough answers.

Sighing softly, Cloud retreated back into his thoughts. Or, rather, he had tried. His sigh, quiet as it was, wasn't muted enough to go unnoticed by Tifa, it seemed. She placed her hand on his shoulder, although a tad clumsily, as the rhythm of the pair's steps didn't match at all. "Cloud…" Tifa's voice could barely conceal concern. "Is something wrong?"

Biting his lip softly, he realized he had only two options – yes or no. Which one would not wanting to go to Nibelheim fall under? A bit unsure, Cloud just shook his head as his response. "I'm fine, Tifa." _…I think._ Sure, he was scarred physically, mentally, and emotionally from his past, but he was still alive, wasn't he? By that logic alone, he was far better off than the deceased; therefore, he was fine.

And, besides, there would have to be at least one good thing about visiting Nibelheim, right?

"No poutin', Spiky," Barret barked, continuing his march onward. "Part of bein' a man, or a woman, is dealin' wit' your past and not lettin' it hold you back." Cloud remained silent, and although he had heard Barret, he gave no indication, verbal or otherwise, that he had. _…I know that._ Tifa had let go of his shoulder long before this point, but watching him warily, she added, "Without a past, there's no such thing as a future." _…I know that too._

His anxiety was beginning to lose ground to the annoyance, and perhaps a bit of anger, building up inside of him.

Barret kept going with the conversation, much to Cloud's chagrin. "If Nibelheim di'n't happen, who knows if we would've met in the first place?"

Cloud stopped walking. Tifa and Barret didn't realize it until they took a few more steps. They paused, confused, and looked back at Cloud, as if they were wondering what would've caused his sudden change in demeanor.

All Cloud could muster was a simple question, "Why would I want to go back to Nibelheim?" He made no effort to hide the displeasure from his voice. Tifa studied his face, searching it for any clues as to what the correct answer was. Baffled, she offered, "You said we were going back." She wasn't necessarily wrong. He had been the one that set the plan in motion, so to speak.

"It was your idea," Cloud contended, raising his eyes to meet Tifa's. He was observing her just as closely as she was to him. "I agreed… Because I thought that was what you wanted." Before Tifa could explain herself, Cloud answered his own question. "My childhood home… was burnt to the ground. My mother died. I had no friends. There's nothing left to return to. What's there now… is just a copy of what Nibelheim used to be like."

The trio stood in complete silence, motionless. Cloud shifted uncomfortably, feeling the gazes of both Barret and Tifa burning right through him, as if they were trying to get into his very soul. The stillness of the scene was almost suffocating. Sky blue eyes met ruby red and dark brown, almost as if he was daring them to wrangle with what he had just said. He was right, and they all knew it.

His heart pounded in his chest. The animosity in his soul began to fade away, as the doubt and anxiety grew to take its place. Whatever burst of confidence he just had, that, too, begun to dissolve. He didn't feel regret for what he had just done, no. He was just sick of being toyed with, played with, sick of the unanswered questions. He wanted answers.

"Cloud…" Tifa dragged out the vowels slightly, bold enough to break the silence, but still seeming unsure of what she wanted to say. "You're not wrong… But neither is Barret." Cloud shifted his weight again, but his ears were tuned into Tifa's voice. "The Nibelheim we grew up in doesn't exist anymore, but if it weren't for that, we wouldn't be here today. That's why we should go back… We need to carry the memory of what it used to be with us as we move on."

As Cloud pondered over what she had just said, Tifa continued by presenting him a question, "Growing up in Nibelheim wasn't so bad, right?" _…Maybe for you._ His body betrayed his mind as he answered her with a nod. She was pushing so hard to go back to Nibelheim, was there anything he could say to stop it? Instead of struggling against the inevitable, he simply sighed inwardly and resigned himself to it.

There she went, smiling at him again. She paused, as if waiting for him to say something, but after being met with silence, she simply asked, "Well, let's keep moving, shall we?"


	6. Nibelheim

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

******Author's Note: Honestly, I wasn't expecting this chapter to turn out so lengthy. Chapter 7 hasn't even been started yet, but I'm expecting it to be up in about a week or so. The plot's finally starting to get moving!  
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**Chapter 6: Nibelheim**

The monotony that Cloud had grown disdainful of had finally come to an end, it seemed. After days of traveling, he found himself in intimately familiar surroundings. The brown, jagged mountains, the hardy, coniferous trees, the stalwart, green grass, the wooden well, the dirt road, the beige plaster houses framed with wood and with maroon shingle roofing… He had seen those things day in and day out for years, back when he was much smaller, much younger. If he had any doubts as to where he was, they would have been dismissed quickly by the metal sign in front of him, proudly and boldly declaring, "Welcome to Nibelheim!" He reached out to touch it gingerly. The metal was cool to the touch.

With a nod, Cloud broke the silence. "We're here." He ignored the anxiety burning in his soul, glancing over to Tifa, waiting for her to take the lead. She seemed to have noticed him glancing at her, as she looked at the village and remarked, "Looks like nobody's here." Though Nibelheim didn't have a large population to boast, the few people that had lived there prior to the incident had always been lively, always going to and fro and about their daily lives. Barret's lips twisted into a half-smirk as he grunted, "Not surprisin'. Wit' Shinra gone, there's no one signin' their paycheck."

The observations mattered little to Cloud. While his eyes scanned the village for any signs of life, his gaze eventually settled on one special building in particular – his childhood home, or rather, a copy of his childhood home. His home had burnt to the ground. His attention switched from the replicated house back to the woman standing by his side, and quietly, he announced, "I'm going to take a look around." His muscles tensed as he felt Tifa's hand come to rest on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. With a benign smile, she said simply, "Take your time, Cloud."

_Should I… make an excuse?_ No, that would be silly. Why would he need to justify his actions? His soul and mind felt disconnected, a feeling that was quickly, and frighteningly, becoming familiar to him. While he hadn't wanted to visit Nibelheim in the first place, now that he was actually there, what else was he to do? _Why did Tifa want me to come here so badly?_

His feet, tired as they were, dutifully carried him to the front door of what used to be the house he grew up in. Warily, half-expecting some sort of actor to come out of nowhere and chide him for breaking and entering a private building, his hand reached out for the doorknob. After a moment, he hesitantly turned it, and the wooden door creaked open, devastating the silence the town had rested in after Meteorfall.

Closing the door behind him, his muscles finally relaxing, if only slightly, he took a deep breath. The accuracy of the replicated house was astounding. The wooden floorboards even creaked as they had when he was just a child, though dust had already begun to settle around the residence, mutating the walls into a slightly off-white color. Looking down the hallway, he could even see the black stones that designated the kitchen floor, and the stove, the refrigerator, even the counters, all recreated with inhuman veracity.

Abruptly, he found himself at the end of the entryway, looking towards the beds that he and his mother once slept in all those years ago. The checkered comforter on his bed was just as blue as he remembered it, as was his mother's matching brown one. The wooden end-table was sandwiched between the beds, just as it was years ago. He helped himself to a seat on his old bed. Even its softness was just as he remembered.

Suddenly, he was a young child, all over again. The house seemed to explode with life. The lights were turned on. The dust had disappeared, returning the walls to their natural pristine whiteness. The dwelling was filled with the aroma of boiling stew. He saw his mother stirring the pot tenderly, doing her best to prepare a proper meal for not only herself, but her son, as well.

"Mom?" Cloud squeaked, watching his mother bounce around the kitchen, innocence and fondness glowing in his blue eyes. He was sitting on his bed, a toy soldier sitting beside him, completely forgotten by the child's lack of attention span. His mother paused, wiping her brow with a towel, cleansing herself of the sweat formed by working over bubbling food. With the gentlest of smiles upon her face, she looked at her son and tenderly beckoned, "Yes, dear?"

Cloud paused for a moment, biting his lip and swinging his legs against the mattress lightly, suddenly unsure of what he wanted to say, or perhaps how he wanted to say it. "Um…" he started, watching his mother carefully. "Can I ask you a question?" He doubted his mother would have said no, being the sweet woman she was. Setting the towel onto the countertop, with a nod, she responded, "Is something wrong, Cloud? Were the other boys picking on you again?" She frowned. Much to her dismay, Cloud didn't seem to have many, if any, friends, unlike that Tifa girl next door.

Cloud shook his head energetically. He had played alone that day, like he usually had, but that wasn't what he wanted to talk about, well, kind of. He had overheard them talking about their fathers, and something about it had intrigued his mind. If he had ever seen his own father, he couldn't even remember. But, his mother would know, wouldn't she? She seemed to know everything. "Where's Dad?"

Cloud watched, slightly scared, as sadness blanketed his mother's eyes. He took after his mother, at least, that's what many of the women in Nibelheim had told him, to his eyes, to his nose, to his hair. The smile seemed to fall from her face, though she refused to let it disappear, even if it meant her smile would become melancholy as a result. She walked over to her young son, gently moving the toy soldier out of the way, so she could sit beside him. Though he was too old to be held and coddled, at least in public, he didn't resist when she pulled him into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him, as if she were afraid that he was just going to up and disappear.

"Sweetie…" She sighed, as if she knew the day would come, but despite that, still clueless as to how to handle it. "Sometimes, our bodies stop working," she began, watching him closely, trying to break down a difficult concept into children's terms. "Stop working?" Cloud echoed, his mind doing its absolute best to process the thought. His mother nodded at him, reaffirming that he had, in fact, heard her correctly.

"When our bodies stop working," his mother continued, trying to pick off where she had left off, "We call that 'death' or being 'dead'." She made an effort to slightly emphasize those words, so that he would remember them, and expand his vocabulary just a little bit more. "Your father is... dead." Suddenly, Cloud's mind was overcome with questions. "Will my body quit working too?" His mother nodded. "What about yours, mom?" She nodded again, before elaborating, "Everybody's bodies quit working one day." Then, the question she had been dreading most had popped out of Cloud's mouth – "Why did Dad's body quit working?"

Death was hard enough to explain to a child his age, never mind the numerous causes of death. Giving him a genial hug, and an extra squeeze, just to make sure that he could feel the love she carried for him in her heart, she simply told him, "You're very smart, Cloud, but it's hard to understand why we die sometimes. I'll explain it to you when you're older, alright?" Cloud simply nodded, and in a muted thanks, gave her the biggest bear hug his tiny arms possibly could.

Suddenly, he was twenty-one years old again; the life was sucked from the house, leaving it as the empty shell it was supposed to be. Blinking, confused, he looked around, surveying the area. _Just a memory, nothing more._ To be fair, he supposed that his mind could have shown him a much more unpleasant memory but had opted for something a bit more light-hearted, for whatever reason. It frightened him, not even knowing what was going on inside of his own head at times.

He rose to his feet, deciding that he had seen more than enough, exiting his childhood home and closing the wooden door carefully, unlike his younger self, who would have been much more likely to slam it shut. He looked towards the entrance of the village, expecting to see Tifa and Barret standing there, awaiting his return. _…They're gone._ Perhaps Tifa had seen him walk into his house and had decided to give Barret the tour of hers? He hadn't been inside his home for too long, as far as he could tell, raising a hand to cover his eyes as he tried to gauge how much time had actually passed, using the sun as his guide.

He strolled past the well and up the stairs leading to the infamous Shinra Mansion. The path forked in three directions. The right one would take him into the wilderness, the middle one into the building, the one to the left behind the General Store. The first two forks were uninteresting to him, as he had already seen where those roads would take him, and he wasn't looking forward to going back down them. Instead, he opted to head left, following the path until it ended at a nice, flat grassy area, complete with a few coniferous trees, perhaps half-grown at best.

_I stood here before…_ It had always been his favorite spot in all of Nibelheim, a little place, just for him.

Abruptly, he was thirteen again, standing in the middle of town, right next to the well, the fabled spot where he would one day make a promise with Tifa. Today was not that day. He sat on the ground, leaning against the old well, bitterly watching the other teenagers flock around her. She was laughing, smiling, and giggling, almost in a state of bliss. Whether she loved the attention, or just enjoyed having so many people around, he wasn't certain.

They had all grown up together, through the winters and springs and summers and falls, going through birthdays, happy days, and sad days, all as one big unit, almost as if they were a makeshift family. Cloud, if he were to even have a spot in that, would have been a black sheep. At one point, he wanted nothing else but to be part of the crowd, but after how they would ignore him regardless of what he did… That dream had been given up, or at least, that's what he futilely tried to convince himself. He overheard bits of the chitchat, the conversations he was never part of, never would be part of. After the incident on Mount Nibel, the other children had spat on him, called him names, amongst other things, before settling on giving him the cold shoulder. What had happened that day, the coma Tifa, their most beloved friend, was in for seven days afterward, was solely his fault.

"Tifa! Did you hear about what happened the other day?" "Tifa, that outfit is amazing!" "Tifa, do you remember what happened, back when…" Jealously bubbled inside of his heart; he could practically feel it. Why couldn't he be strong enough to be noticed, not by those immature brats, but by her? The group's opinions on him were irrelevant, at least, that's a lie he swallowed daily. All that mattered was her. Even just a quick glance his way would reignite the passion and drive he had to be noticed by her; it was something he couldn't suppress.

One of the teenagers, a fine young male, dared to inch closer to her than the others. Cloud watched him scathingly, as though he was a wolf baring its teeth. After one wrong move, would he snap like a wolf's jaws? Tifa looked over to her friend, acknowledging his presence with a gentle smile. Cloud's body was almost shaking with animosity; it took all of his willpower to restrain himself. He glared at the teenager, his eyes full of growing vexation at their target.

"Hey, Tifa…" The teenager's voice cracked, as any fourteen-year-old's would. Tifa had known him since they were the smallest of children, and she greeted him fondly, "Dominick! What's up?" Her voice was like a lilting melody, full of glee and cheer. The anger within Cloud began to multiply, practically consuming his entire emotional state, as well as his mind. "Um…" Dominick stammered, a bit nervous. He ran his fingers through his silky ebony hair, as if he were trying to calm his nerves. "I was wondering… can I talk to you alone, for just a moment?"

Whatever acrimony Cloud was feeling quickly gave way to confusion and bewilderment. Why would that punk want to see Tifa alone? What was he planning? He scrutinized the scene, looking for any clues that could help him piece together the puzzle. His gaze followed Tifa and Dominick, as Tifa quickly told her friends that she would be right back, as the pair slipped away and behind a house for a private talk.

The two returned, by Cloud's best guess, just five or ten minutes later. Tifa was still just as bubbly as before, but the other adolescent seemed much more relaxed and much less anxious. What exactly had just happened? He continued to observe the group, examining them for any indication about the little scene, but as the sun began to set, the group split, with everybody heading their own ways, back to their own houses. What irked Cloud the most was that small wave Tifa gave to Dominick as the two parted ways. _What's going on?_

Left to his own devices, Cloud figured that it would be in his best interests to follow suit and head back to his house. His mother, like she always did, would probably complain if he were late for dinner, like he always was.

The next few days started as they always had. Cloud would wake up, then do whatever mindless chores that his mother had set aside for him. In his opinion, they were always a waste of time, nothing but busywork. Afterwards, Cloud would leave the house, either opting to wander around the outskirts of town by his lonesome, brandishing a metal pipe as a weapon against any monsters that would happen to come his way. The pipe was long enough to wave around as a makeshift sword, but the metal it was made of added greatly to its weight, making it an excellent choice for clubbing things to a pulp.

But, for those few days, they played out a bit differently. Instead of meandering around the outskirts of town, alone, he opted to stay in the center of town, if only to keep a close eye on the other teenagers. The pipe, temporarily abandoned, was meticulously propped against one of the trees on the grassy ledge behind the General Store, precisely where he had initially discovered it.

But, those few days, Cloud decided, were dreadfully boring. The other teenagers just chatted amongst each other, laughing, smiling, telling jokes and stories, enjoying lunch or snacks. They conversed about nothing but childish things, as far as Cloud was concerned. He found it hard to believe that the bratty bunch were supposed to be adults in just a handful of years. They certainly didn't act like it.

It was only in the evening on one of those days that the monotony crumbled. The group had parted ways prematurely that day, possibly in an attempt to avoid having rain dumped on their heads by the grey clouds above. Two of the teenagers lingered after the others had left; Cloud was able to place Dominick as one of their names. They talked in hushed voices, although Cloud wasn't sure if it was an attempt to show some maturity, or perhaps to say things that they don't want him to hear. Apprehensive of their motives, Cloud strained his ears the best he possibly could, trying to pick up anything he could.

"You said Saturday, right?" the one teenager questioned, crossing his arms over his chest, clearly intrigued by whatever the topic of conversation was. Dominick nodded before affirming quietly, "Yeah. I'm kind of nervous, though." The other teenager cracked a grin before boasting, "Well, you're one of Tifa's best friends. I'm not surprised she agreed." Cloud scowled, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. What, exactly, was going on? "Well," the teenager drawled, "I gotta get going. Have fun on your date!"

If Cloud would have lost his composure at that moment, his jaw would have dropped to the floor in bewilderment. Fury set ablaze in his heart, he watched as the other teenager left Dominick to himself. Cloud's mind raced as fast as his heart was beating. He could feel his blood pressure rising. Hostility clouded his thoughts, forcing him to yield his grip on some of his sanity. _Who does he think he is… I can't even get Tifa to notice me, yet this brat thinks he's good enough to call himself her boyfriend?_

Tifa deserved better. She didn't deserve a Dominick. That unruly child acted half his age at any given point in time. He was whiny, infantile at best, foolish, naïve; Cloud could go on and on. That kid was just like the rest of the adolescent pack. _I need to prove myself._ He was better than the others. He knew he was; it was just a matter of making the others, particularly Tifa, realize it. And, after they had, they would finally let him in, welcome him with open arms.

He stood up, accidentally kicking a stray rock as he rose to his feet. Brushing the dirt off his pants, he raised his eyes from the ground to glance at Dominick. The teenager must have heard the noise, because he turned and looked over his shoulder. His eyes, as green as emeralds, met Cloud's. As Dominick's eyes narrowed, Cloud quickly pushed away any and all feelings of pain to the side – Dominick would realize soon enough how much better Cloud was.

Slowly approaching the black-haired adolescent, Cloud offered a short, gruff greeting, "Dominick." The teenager stepped back warily. Cloud wasn't well-liked by the villagers; if anything, the teenager was known for nothing else but his temper. Dominick nodded and cautiously returned the gesture, a soft, "Hello, Cloud," as he tried desperately to defuse any situations before they could start.

Cloud's stare was practically burning holes through the adolescent's soul. He paused for a moment, then cut right to the chase, "Can we talk?" Dominick raised an ebony eyebrow, dumbfounded. It wasn't like Cloud to approach anybody like he was, but then again, as far as recent memory went, they had all been giving Cloud the cold shoulder for years. Maybe he had changed since the incident?

Dominick nodded at Cloud, warily observing him, before affirming his agreement with a short and simple, "Sure. Where at?" Cloud paused for a moment, clearly in thought, before offering, "I don't want Tifa to hear. Take a walk around town?" Dominick bit his lip, hesitating to agree. No one really knew who Cloud was anymore. They knew he existed, that he was always angry at something or other, but Cloud rarely, if ever, tried to reach out to them. Maybe he was turning over a new leaf? Giving him the benefit of the doubt, Dominick nodded again.

The pair began walking, slowly, towards the mansion. The conversation seemed forced, almost stiff. It was Dominick who initiated it, with a small observation, "You usually don't talk to us." Cloud resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the indisputable statement, instead opting for a small nod, waiting for Dominick to continue to something more interesting and less obvious. The black-haired adolescent must have been astonished, because he hadn't reacted to the nonverbal cue as quickly as Cloud would've preferred. Realizing the silence wouldn't end unless he was to terminate it, again, Dominick continued, "Don't you ever get lonely, by yourself?"

Cloud shrugged, responding with a brusque, "Not really." _…Sometimes. _Cloud found it odd, that the teenager hardly knew him, yet was trying to ask such prying questions already. Was the kid even dumber than thought? "But that's not the point," Cloud hastily added.

The two had arrived at the small clearing. There was something charming about it, though it may have just been the contrast between the serenity of the small chunk of wilderness and Cloud's demeanor. After pausing for a moment, as if he were thinking, Dominick wondered, "Then what's the point?" He stepped backward, trying to keep some distance from Cloud, as if he were a wild animal, about to snap.

"You're making a mistake," Cloud harshly declared, keeping his eyes locked with Dominick's. The adolescent raised his eyebrows in confusion, genuinely puzzled, stammering, "What are you talking about?" Refusing to mince words, Cloud boldly spat, "Tifa deserves better than you." _I'll save her from making this mistake. She'll have to notice me then._

Dominick clenched his fists, heatedly disputing, "That's none of your business, Strife." _You're wrong._ "And," the black-haired teenager continued, recklessly closing the distance between him and Cloud, "If you have a problem with that… Then scram." Cloud scoffed at the challenge, "Like I'd listen to you." Though Cloud would never, not even in a million years, admit to it, he was taken off-guard by a punch to the face.

He snapped. If he was going to show Tifa how strong he was, then he had to win this scuffle. There were no and's, if's, or but's about it. Dominick would have to face the consequences of his actions. The brawl was brutal, almost barbaric. Punches and kicks flew wildly, anywhere; nothing was off-limits. What Cloud had, Dominick lacked – a primal desire for victory. With every blow Cloud took, whether it was to his face, or his chest, or his stomach, the furor within him grew, and the sane part of him began to lose more ground to a frenzied state of mind.

Dominick managed to get the upper-hand. He twisted Cloud's arms behind his back, then, with all of his strength, threw him face-first into the rocks and dirt. He placed his foot firmly onto Cloud's back, preventing him from getting back to his feet. _I can't lose. I won't lose!_ "You gonna listen now?" challenged Dominick, pressing down his foot slightly, as if to emphasize his point.

_The pipe._

Dominick may have been bigger than him, and maybe a bit stronger, but the rage within Cloud's heart fueled the tenacity he needed at that very moment, the strength he needed to regain the upper-hand, to win that fight. Using his arms, he pushed up with all the vigor he could muster, catching the other teenager off-guard and sending him backwards. Cloud made a mad dash, like a frantic man, over to the hunk of metal. He would gain the upper-hand, one way or another. Grabbing the cold object, firmly, almost proudly, with his hands, he glared back over to Dominick.

The teenager managed to get back up to his feet, heedlessly dashing towards Cloud, not even realizing what Cloud had gotten his hands on. The brat had left himself wide-open, if only for a few seconds. It was long enough to turn the tides of battle, tipping the scales back into Cloud's favor. Cloud swung the pipe resolutely. It battered into the teenager's chest, knocking him to the ground. Cloud half-wondered if the snaps he had just heard were Dominick's ribs cracking under the weight of the blow.

Cloud arrogantly stood over Dominick, jeering the teenager's previous question. "Like I'd listen to you." The teenager groaned in pain, one hand flying up to cover his nose. No wonder he had smelled blood; his nose was bleeding. His other hand reached around his ribcage gingerly, feeling carefully, making sure every bone was where it should be, as it should be.

Cloud tossed the pipe to the side carelessly. He had made his point. He had won. That was all that mattered… Although, he couldn't help but feel a bit concerned for the pitiful kid lying on the ground. While Cloud was debating internally whether or not to help him out, the teenager struggled to his feet. "Fine," Dominick rancorously spat, "You win." Hearing those two words, together, made him feel good about himself. Not only had he won, but the kid acknowledged it. Despite that, Cloud could only sternly order, "Just go."

Cloud had figured that, with the victory under his belt, the case was closed. It was done and over with. He was okay, although his eye rapidly swelling, probably into a decent black eye in the morning. The other kid was okay, if not a bit sore, probably. He slinked back home, entering as quietly as he could; he was sure his mother would be asleep by now.

He had been sleeping mostly peacefully, until he heard his name being shrilly hollered, by his mother, of all people. He tried moving, but his body felt so heavy, his muscles so sore, his eye throbbing. With a small groan, he pushed himself to his feet, leaving the bedroom, curious as to what his mother would want. He likely just overslept, as he sometimes did.

He noticed sunlight coming from the entryway, and a full moment later, realized there were three figures standing in it. He immediately recognized his mother, and after another few seconds, identified the second figure as Dominick. The third figure was an older woman, about the age of his mother; he presumed it was Dominick's mother.

The pieces finally clicked in his groggy mind. He was in trouble, big trouble. The brat must have whined to his mother and spun Cloud out to be the bad guy. _Running off to mommy… real mature._ Cloud noticed all three sets of eyes were on him. He had one big hole to dig himself out of. Offering a nod as his greeting of choice, he turned his attention to his mother, warily asking her, "What's going on?"

"What's going on!?" That was Dominick's mother, screeching in disbelief. "You beat up my son! That's what's going on." Cloud's brows furrowed; clearly, Dominick had only told half of the story. In an attempt to defend himself, Cloud began to counter, "He started it. We…" Dominick's mother cut Cloud off, although Cloud wasn't sure if he was more annoyed at that, or the smug look on Dominick's face. "Mrs. Strife…" Dominick's mother started, ignoring what Cloud had just said, "All I'm going to say is get your son straightened out, or we'll have to get the mayor involved. That boy of yours gets into fights practically every other day."

And with that, they left. Cloud could have sworn he heard Dominick snicker on his way out the door. He frowned with irritation; only immature kids would run to mommy as soon as something went wrong. He was ripped from his thoughts by his mother sighing. Curiously, he glanced at her. Wasn't she going to yell at him? "Cloud…" she started softly, walking over to the beds, and motioning for Cloud to sit down. Nervous, he followed suit, sitting on his own bed, opposite of his mother. She had never reacted like this before.

"Cloud…" she repeated, as if she was buying time, trying to gather her own thoughts. Cloud half-wondered if he should retell the story from his perspective, but as he opened his mouth to speak, his mother cut him off. "Cloud… What went wrong with you?" It was a loaded question, and Cloud wondered if this is what it felt like if he were to be impaled by a sword in his chest. His eyes remained stoic, not even daring to let any semblance of emotion seep through. He remained silent.

With another sigh, his mother shook her head wistfully. "You used to be such a sweet boy… And you can be one again. You're just going through a rough spot right now, aren't you?" Whether she was trying to console him or herself, Cloud wasn't sure. He visibly winced as his mother's gentle hand reached out to cup his swollen black eye. The area was tender, and having it touched was, surprisingly to him, more painful than it had been getting the thing in the first place.

Jerking away slightly from his mother's touch, he nodded his head as a response to her question. He saw the pain flash in her eyes, in those sky blue eyes. Cloud opened his mouth to speak, watching her closely for any reaction, as he warily began explaining, "He started it." His mother interrupted him, and frowning, she inquired, "Why do all of your stories begin that way, Cloud?" Cloud paused for a moment, thoughts rushing through his head. He was having a hard time condensing them into something more intelligible, but after a deep breath, he tried his best. "…He was… making a mistake," he offered, recalling the exchange between him and Dominick the night before.

His mother didn't seem to buy the excuse, because she pressed onward, "What sort of mistake was he making?" Cloud shook his head and remained silent, refusing to answer. How could she possibly understand? It was a complicated situation, at least, in his teenaged mind. With a frown and a sigh, she watched her son carefully, as if she was wondering if she went wrong somewhere raising him, or perhaps, if the issue ran deeper than that.

"Cloud…" she reached her hands out to hold his, tenderly, just as she had when he was a child. With a gentle squeeze, and a quiet voice, all she had left to tell him was, "You'll always be my son, Cloud, even when the world turns against you. I'll be here for you, okay? Whatever's wrong, we can fix it."

Cloud blinked. When his eyes reopened, he was twenty-one years old again, standing at the clearing. He sighed, reaching his hand up to scratch the back of his head. _After the Mount Nibel incident… I got out of control. I got into fights, not even caring who it was._ His mother must have had the patience of a saint, he figured, to be able to deal with him for so long, while he was like that. At least he wasn't like that anymore, right? _I'm not as angry anymore… _But, he supposed, he still held some of that anger within him. It had shown itself multiple times throughout his life – when Tifa fell from Mount Nibel, when she had been injured at the Nibelheim Reactor, when Aerith died. It was a powerful force, one he supposed he would always carry with him throughout his life, even though he had mellowed out considerably as he grew older.

Looking at the sky, he was mildly surprised when the sun wasn't where he expected it to be. How long had he been reminiscing? The fiery sphere had begun descending from its apex in the heavens, taking with it warmth and light. _I need to find Tifa and Barret._ As he turned away, he looked back over his shoulder, and morosely murmured, "I'm sorry." Whether the apology was directed to himself for whom he used to be, or to his mother, or to the children he had beaten up, or the parents he had upset, he wasn't sure. He began walking back to town, figuring that his friends were worried, and probably looking, for him.

He blinked when his eyes noticed the well, or rather, the figure by it. _Tifa…?_ She was sitting on the ground beside it, fingers idly twirling with a blade of grass. Relieved, and feeling slightly guilty for keeping her waiting for so long, he strode up to her. And, as she always did, she greeted him with a gentle smile. "Welcome back, Cloud." He nodded at her, then wondered aloud, "Where's Barret?" Her fingers released the grass, and she wrapped her arms around her knees, as if she was chilly. "Barret went to the inn. We're setting up camp here tonight, and he wanted to see if the inn had anything safe to eat."

Cloud nodded again, then helped himself to a seat next to her. She seemed surprised, albeit pleasantly, by that, leaning towards him to rest her head on his shoulder, just as she had under the Highwind during their journey. While he didn't necessarily enjoy being touched, especially without warning, he tolerated it. They were friends, after all. Though he might not have been as experienced with friendship as other people, he figured that was something that friends did.

Cloud waited a moment, waiting to see if Tifa had anything else to say. She remained silent, perhaps simply just enjoying his company. Cloud struggled to keep himself in the moment, but his mind tried pulling him away, yanking him into his thoughts. It was a garbled, gnarled mess, almost unintelligible, so fragmented. _All stupid… If I got stronger… Used to look up at it… Like I'd listen… Notice me… So weak… Prejudiced… In the group… Got into fights… Not even caring… Such a sweet boy… What happened…_

Cloud didn't even realize that he mumbled, almost inaudibly, "I shouldn't have come. It draws me back to the past." He felt Tifa shift beside him, lifting her head from his shoulder to look at him, observing him, examining him. "What do you mean, Cloud?" she questioned, sounding a bit perturbed by his statement. Cloud shook his head. He almost wished that Tifa hadn't heard him.

"I…" Cloud started, then stopped just as quickly. He had to say something, but he didn't have anything to say, at least, anything intelligible. Tifa gently squeezed his arm, softly reminding him, "Take your time, Cloud." Cloud shook his head again. He glanced over at her, his sky blue eyes locking with ruby red. Would it be better if he just weren't to answer at all, or should he just say anything, no matter how incomprehensible it was?

After all she had done for him, he couldn't just stay silent. Any answer, no matter how stupid or disjoint it was, would be better than nothing. It was the very least she deserved. Inhaling deeply, trying to calm himself and collect his thoughts, Cloud started again, "…You talked about moving on." He looked away from Tifa, his eyes surveying the town around them, as he continued, "I just don't understand… How I can move on, when the past is all around me."

She squeezed his arm again, as if she was trying to remind him that she was still there. "The past isn't all around you, Cloud," she emphasized. "Just because things weren't so good before doesn't mean that the future will be bad, too."

Cloud shook his head. That wasn't exactly what he had meant. He tried correcting himself, "When we sat around the Cosmo Candle together, everyone was talking about what they were going to do next." He paused for a moment, waiting to see if Tifa had anything else to add, before continuing, "I… still don't have any idea."

"You don't have any idea of what your future will be like, or you don't have any idea of how to move on?" Tifa questioned, as if she still didn't understand what Cloud was getting at. Cloud paused for a moment, hesitating, before revealing, "…A bit of both."

"Hm…" Was she just as perplexed as he was? It wasn't, to him, just as simple as moving on. After a life of failure after failure, he was certain that there would be plenty more failures up the road. On the other hand, the rest of the world was moving on; he wouldn't have a place in the new world if he dragged behind. He could either stay where he was, by himself, or he could push forward and open himself to even more loss. There was no winning. Tifa's voice ripped him from his mind. "I don't think anybody really knows what the future has in store for them. But… there's only one way to find out." Near the end, her voice took on a more lilting, light-hearted tone.

Cloud's eyes returned to the woman. Tifa was going to move on, with or without him. That fabled night, when he had promised to protect her, right at this very spot… He couldn't do it, not if he didn't move on too, right? As if she was afraid of losing him to a mental battle, she broke the silence again. "Cloud? Let's make another promise."

Cloud watched her curiously, waiting for her to continue. "The future… might not be good all the time. But, it won't be all bad either. Whatever it throws at us… Let's face it together." _…Together?_ "What do you think, Cloud? Promise?"

After a moment, Cloud nodded, before affirming, "I promise."

* * *

It was the first time he had laid in a bed for a good while. He and Tifa had headed to the inn not long after making the new promise. Barret had managed to scrounge up some canned food, and well, nobody had gotten sick yet. Just after a well-earned dinner together, they claimed refuge in a room upstairs. Despite how decently the last part of his day went, Cloud still wasn't able to find sleep. No matter how exhausted his body, mind, and soul were, it seemed that he just wasn't able to rest, no matter how hard he tried.

Every time he closed his eyes, his mind would ravage the darkness, and instill a vision from his past, his memories. The recollection was so vivid, it was like he were reliving the same exact situations, over and over again. It frustrated him, baffled him. Would humoring his mind allow him to slip into a slumber?

Flopping onto his back, Cloud sighed. The razing of Nibelheim was practically etched into his sight; he could practically feel the heat from the flames. _Sephiroth, Zack, some infantryman, and I were sent to Nibelheim. I… was so embarrassed; I wouldn't even take off my helmet._ Tifa, proudly, stood there, showing off her new cowgirl outfit.

_Whatever Sephiroth read in the library… _The town was set ablaze. He could smell the burning flesh of his mother, as he held her in his arms. _I followed Zack back to the Reactor…_ Zack was tossed to the ground, like some sort of plaything, no match for Sephiroth's power. _I stabbed Sephiroth in the back, with Zack's sword… _There was Tifa, unconscious; was she dead? He watched as Sephiroth emerged from the back room, with Jenova's head in his hands. _I chased him to the entrance…_ Cloud was impaled on the Masamune, flesh torn apart, blood squirting from the wound, like rain from a cloud. _I threw him into the Mako… I think I passed out after that._

He was in a tank of Mako, blue and green consuming his sight, voices of all sorts whispering so many things in his mind; they were too loud to ignore. _Zack saved me… _He heard Zack's voice in his mind, although fragmented, telling him about his life, his dreams, about going back to Midgar. _…He died._ The phrase "living legacy" echoed in his mind, repeating over and over like a broken record.

There was Midgar, in all of its black and neon glory; the trains were whirring by him, over and over, as they came and went, fulfilling their one and only purpose. _Tifa found me…_ She was shouting his name, as if she couldn't believe he were real. _…When I saw her… I forgot about Zack._ She was telling him about some job with some group named Avalanche. _…My head hurt so much._

_If the Nibelheim Incident would have never happened…_ _Sephiroth wouldn't have gone insane. Nibelheim would still be standing. My mother would be alive. I… wouldn't have lost years of my life to a crazy scientist. Zack would be alive. So would Aerith. …Would I have met Aerith? What about Tifa? I… wouldn't have forgotten Zack. Sephiroth wouldn't have summoned Meteor. Shinra would still be in power. The Planet wouldn't have had to push Meteor away._

_But… because of the Nibelheim Incident… Sephiroth went insane. He summoned Meteor. The Planet had to fix things. Zack and Aerith died. Zack didn't even exist in my mind. But… I found Tifa. I met Barret, Red, Cid, Cait Sith, Yuffie, Vincent… Shinra collapsed. So did life as we knew it. The Planet is safe. Would it… even have lasted 50 more years, if we continued to use Mako?_

Even if things had played out differently, he wasn't sure if he would have been satisfied with the results. Why couldn't there have been a better solution, one that combined the best of both scenarios? And, if hindsight really was twenty-twenty, and both scenarios would have been bad in their own ways, wouldn't that mean the future would also be bad, regardless of what he did or didn't do? Whatever decision he'd make, it would have to be one that would minimize his losses. If the past was any indication, he was bound to lose something close to him – it would be far from the first time it's happened.

Tifa's words echoed back to his mind. _Just because things weren't so good before doesn't mean that the future will be bad, too._ Rolling onto his side, he opened his eyes, studying her sleeping form. She had lost just as much as he had, if not more, during her life, but here she was, still pressing onward, almost unstoppable. Did she see some of her strength in him? Or was she just trying to be optimistic for his sake?

_I… know I'm going to lose whatever I cherish eventually._ It was not a question of if; it was a question of when. For his entire life, he had failed. If the past was any indication, his future would probably follow the same path. Tifa's voice continued to echo in his mind. _I don't think anybody really knows what the future has in store for them. But… there's only one way to find out._

_The future… might not be good all the time. But, it won't be all bad either. Whatever it throws at us… Let's face it together. _And, as his mind circled back to the train of thought he had all those many nights ago, he came to the same exact conclusion. _But_ _I… want to be ready._

If he was going to lose something, no matter what he did or didn't do, then it would mean that he'd have to make the choices that would cause him to lose the least. Standing idly by would cost him the most, he figured. The fog in his mind started to lift. His thoughts became clearer, perhaps not as transparent as day, but less opaque, nonetheless. Of his two options, either stay in the past, or push onwards, despite all of the things the future would throw his way, he found his answer.

And, even if the future was going to take things away from him, it was also going to give back… He may have lost a lot from the Nibelheim Incident, and all the events it caused, but he had also gained things he would have never even dreamed of. And, maybe, just maybe, after twenty-one years on this Planet, he could pull himself together, learn from his past, and make his future even brighter than he expected.

_I want… I want to try. I… don't want to break that promise._


	7. Jocund

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

**********Author's Note: Nothing much to say, other than Chapter 8 just needs proofread, and Chapter 9 is about half-way written. Both should be up within a week or so.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Jocund**

When Cloud woke up in the morning, his hand immediately flew to his face to cover his eyes from the blinding sunlight. As his mind slowly became cognizant of the world around him, he sat up, bringing down his hand to rest by his side. He blinked, once, twice, three times, before looking around the room, his eyes finally adjusting to the environment around him. _The inn…_ Barret and Tifa both sat on their own beds. Noticing Cloud rousing from slumber, Barret shot him a smug grin, while Tifa gave him a soft smile and a wave.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Tifa teased playfully, ruby eyes filled to the brim with warmth. Cloud could only muster a mumbled, "G'morning," in return. She laughed at him as he wondered how long he had been asleep, what time it was. After deciding that a few moments was long enough to gather his thoughts, Barret ear-splittingly declared, "We're headin' to Costa Del Sol!" Cloud blinked again, baffled. It was too early in the morning for this sort of stuff.

When Tifa noticed the puzzled look on Cloud's face, she explained in a cordial tone, "When you were asleep, Barret and I were talking. We need to get to Midgar, but first, we need to get across the ocean." As if Barret was taking Tifa's explanation as a cue to continue clarifying, he added, "Costa Del Sol's got the closest port. Can't go flyin' around in an airship this time."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, as if that would reduce his headache, Cloud had only one question, "When do we leave?" After how tiring yesterday was, and especially after just waking up, Cloud wasn't sure if he was ready to get out of bed, never mind traversing across the entire continent. "Right about… now!" Barret laughed. Cloud just shook his head and sighed. Even after his vow to push onwards, it seemed fate still wouldn't be on his side.

* * *

Although it had been a while since Cloud last stepped within the coastal town's borders, it seemed like Costa del Sol hadn't changed a bit. The streets swarmed with people of all ages, from children to the elderly. The wooden doors to the yellow dwellings seemed to constantly open and shut, the orange shingle roofing providing shelter to those who were sick of the sun and the heat. Cloud leaned against a building alongside the main street, his foot on the wall to keep himself propped up. Tifa and Barret stood beside him.

"So…" the woman drawled, eying up both of her companions, "Now what?" Cloud was only half-paying attention, enjoying the shade from the overhanging roof. Slowly, he reminded her, "Aren't we supposed to be going to Midgar?" _…Or do we have to visit all of the wonders of the world, first?_ He resisted the urge to smirk at his ironic comment.

Cloud glanced over at Barret, silently sacrificing leadership of the group to the man. Barret, however, seemed lost in his own thoughts, or he was enjoying watching the people sluggishly shuffle around. Banging his fist against the wall, he barked, "Aren't ya both forgettin' something?" Cloud scratched the back of his head, a tad confused. After a moment, he half-jokingly answered, "Sunscreen?" Tifa chuckled at him. Ever since leaving Nibelheim, Cloud noticed his mood slowly improving. His soul wasn't full of rainbows and butterflies, but the doom and gloom had lessened their grip. _Wonder how long this will last._

Barret's boisterous voice kept him from following that train of thought much further. "Damn it, Spiky, no! We can't go to Midgar without Marlene!" He slammed his fist against the wall again. Cloud raised an eyebrow, looking at the man quizzically. As he opened his mouth to speak, Tifa interrupted him, wondering aloud, "Wouldn't it be better to check on how things are going in Midgar before we pick Marlene up?"

Barret shook his head, almost as if he were sad or regretful. "Naw, Tifa. Last time I saw Marlene was right before we handed Sephiroth's ass to 'im. I need to make sure she's awright." All Tifa had to offer as a response was a soothing smile and a nod. Sensing a lull in conversation, Cloud tried to squeeze himself into the discussion, questioning, "…Where is Marlene?"

The man in question frowned at the statement, as if he were slightly disgusted by it. "She's in Kalm. Don't you remember, Spiky?" Cloud shook his head. _…I guess Barret took my advice, back then._ He sighed, closing his eyes and raising his head to the sky. The logical part of his mind had to side with Tifa on this one. If Midgar were destroyed, it would be better to figure that out sooner rather than later, before they had to worry about having a child with them. On the other hand, Cloud couldn't fully place himself into Barret's shoes, but he figured that if he had adopted a child, he would probably feel the same way.

Biting her lip softly, Tifa remarked, "I thought Costa del Sol only had ships running to Junon, though. If they go that way, we're going to pass by Midgar anyway." Cloud wondered if there was any way to budge Barret from his stubbornness, as the man contended, "World's different now, Tifa. Let's ask 'round, see what's up. Haven't seen people in who knows how long, anyhow."

Nodding in agreement, Cloud offered, "I'll check out the harbor." Smiling at him, Tifa declared, "I'll go to the tourist center. They might know something." Grinning at his companions, almost ear-to-ear, Barret announced, "Awright! I'm headin' to the inn. Innkeepers seem to know everythin.' Meet back there at sunset, you hear?"

And, with that, Cloud set off on his small adventure. Costa del Sol was much busier than he recalled. As he made his way towards the harbor, he practically had to push his way through a sea of people, and he quickly lost count of how many times he had to mumble "excuse me" and "I'm sorry." The shopkeepers, who had set up stalls alongside the roads, on the sidewalks, were shouting at people to buy their wares, touting at how superior theirs were compared to the stall next to them. As he reached the docks, thankfully, the crowd had thinned out considerably, diminishing to just him and the dock workers.

_Now what?_ His eyes surveyed his surroundings. There were rough-looking men loading box after box into the ships. Other men had clipboards, and somewhat fancier outfits than just jeans and a t-shirt, barking out orders to the other men. Even though the pier wasn't as crowded as the town itself was, it was still chaotic in its own way. For some reason, Cloud's gaze focused on one of the clipboard-holding men, although this one, unlike the others, was dressed in a red jumpsuit of sorts.

The man was so absorbed in his work that he hadn't heard Cloud approach. Clearing his throat softly, Cloud simply said, "Excuse me." The man turned to look at him, a scowl on his face, seemingly annoyed at being distracted from his work. With a deepening frown, the man barked, "Don't you see I'm busy? What do you want?" _At least this guy cuts right to the chase._ Refusing to be intimidated, Cloud asked, "Do all your ships run to Junon?"

The look on the man's face clearly showed he was unamused with the inquisitive man. "All but a few," the man replied shortly, returning his attention to his work. Cloud sighed quietly. As blunt as the man was, the man's straightforwardness was making it slightly more difficult to get information than he had hoped. Rephrasing his question slightly, Cloud tried again, "The ones that don't go to Junon… Where do they go?"

"Kalm," the man grunted, scribbling down something on the papers on his clipboard. _Jackpot_. Cloud shifted his weight, but before he could ask another question, the man scolded, "The ferry is a couple hundred gil. Go find someone else if you need help." Cloud resisted the urge to scoff at the man's standoffish behavior, instead opting for a mumbled "thank you."

Cloud headed back into town, leaving the grumpy supervisor behind. _A couple hundred gil…_ While he had some money left over from his journey to save the Planet, the ferry costs would eat most of that up. His feet carried him through town, gracefully navigating around and through the crowd of people. He looked to the sky, intending on checking the time, but instead, he saw a sign for a bar. While he did have a drink every now and then, he was never much of a bar-goer. On the other hand, bars tended to attract lots of people, and, with any luck, maybe one of the patrons would be more helpful than that moody supervisor.

He entered the tavern, gently closing the wooden door behind him. Truth be told, he hadn't realized how warm it was outside, until his skin made contact with the frigid air indoors. There was a single seat left at the bar area, and a bit awkwardly, he helped himself to it. The bartender, a young female, dressed much too skimpily for the temperature indoors, Cloud noted. She wandered on over to him, and with a sly smile and a wink, greeted him fondly, "Hey there, sweetie. First time in here?"_…Please don't tell me it's one of __**those**__ places._

Cloud nodded, shoving his thoughts to the side. It wouldn't be the first time he found himself in an awkward situation, after all. "Ooh, a quiet one!" the bartender cooed, practically beaming at him. "So, tell me, sweetie, what're you thirsty for today?" Cloud thought for a moment, biting his lip. After a short pause, he decided, "Jack and Coke." The bartender continued beaming at him, and with another sly wink, she cheerfully announced, "Comin' right up, sweetie!"

Cloud half-wanted to scoff at himself. It wasn't long ago that he was mulling over how much the ferry would set him back financially, yet, somehow, here he was, ordering drinks at the bar. As the bartender set the full glass in front of him, he nodded with a simple, "Thank you," while his mind wondered what would happen if Tifa or Barret, or both, were to pop in at that moment.

He sipped the mixed drink slowly, making sure to stir it with his straw every now and then, lest the soda float to the top. He listened to the conversations echoing around him, straining his ears for any bits of useful information. The bartender must have gone on her break, because she traded places with another young bartender. She grabbed a stool and squeezed herself between Cloud and a burly man, crossing her legs and twirling her hair between her fingers, a huge grin on her face.

"What's eatin' you, sweetie?" Cloud raised an eyebrow at her curiously, although he wasn't sure if her invading his personal space or her prying questions stroke him as more peculiar. He was uncertain if the weird woman would be of much help, but willing to take a shot, he answered, "Well… I'm trying to get to Kalm." Before he could explain himself any further, she perkily interjected, "Got family there?" Cloud nodded. _…Sort of._ Pausing to make sure she wouldn't interrupt again, he continued, "Any options besides the ferry?"

The woman leaned back in her chair, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Hm…" It was like a million gears were turning in her brain. Suddenly, she exclaimed cheerfully, "You know what! I know a guy who works there!" Cloud nodded, wondering where the woman was going with her train of thought. She reached into her back pocket, pulling out a small piece of paper and a pen. "Tell you what, sweetie." She scribbled something onto the paper, then slid it over to Cloud. With a wink and a grin, she offered, "Call me later tonight, and I'll see if I can work something out between you and him." _…I guess it is one of those places._

Cloud stammered a quick, "Thank you" as he put the paper into his pants pocket. Quickly finishing his drink, he left some money on the countertop, just enough to cover costs and the tip. Nodding at the woman, all he could mumble was, "I got to get going." The woman was practically grinning ear-to-ear, and if she could beam any harder, Cloud wondered if she would catch on fire. "Have fun, sweetie! Buh-bye!"

As far as recent memory went, he had never been happier to leave a bar in his life. His fingers toyed with the piece of paper in his pocket as he made his way to the inn. The sun was already descending from its apex in the sky, and his two friends would likely be waiting for him. _Something tells me I shouldn't call her._ What a weird woman she was. Cloud figured if the woman was being truthful, it would have made more sense to give him her friend's number, not hers.

He shut the wooden door behind him, his eyes scanning the inn's lobby for any signs of his friends. Sure enough, there was Barret, flopped all over a poor chair that was a tad too small for him, and Tifa, legs crossed and head on her chin. He had been late, again, but he figured his friends wouldn't have minded. It didn't stop him from approaching them and softly apologizing, "Sorry I'm late." Tifa's hand fell onto her thigh, and smiling, she chirped, "Welcome back, Cloud! We already have a room for tonight, but we were waiting for you to get here."

As he nodded, Tifa reached over to jostle Barret's shoulder with her hand, stirring him from his nap. Groggily, he gave a quick nod towards Cloud and rose to his feet. Glancing back at Cloud, as if she were making sure he was still there, Tifa stood up, mentioning softly, "The room's this way." Entering the room, Cloud felt relieved when he counted three beds lined up against the wall. Barret didn't seem too keen on being roused from sleep, because he rushed over to claim a bed for himself, practically jumping onto the poor object. Tifa giggled at him, then sat on the middle bed. She looked at Cloud and patted the spot next to her, smiling. Taking the nonverbal suggestion, he claimed his own spot, right next to her.

"So…" Tifa drawled, lightly swinging her legs against the bed, her fingers playing with the tropical-patterned comforter. "What did everybody find out?" Cloud was toying with the paper in his pocket again, before stating, "I talked to a supervisor at the harbor. He said that there's a ship or two that run to Kalm." He paused, trying to gauge any reactions from Tifa. _…And it costs and arm and a leg._

Barret suddenly sat up, seemingly interested in what else Cloud had to say. Cloud would've have paid him more attention, if Tifa didn't suddenly question, "How much does it cost, Cloud?" He shook his head, trying to divide out numbers in his head. He wasn't quite sure of how much Tifa or Barret had on them, but he could pay for the ferry himself. Doing so, however, would leave him with just a handful of gil. "Please, Cloud?" Tifa insisted, waiting for his response. After a moment, he assured her, "Don't worry about it. I've got it covered."_ …Or, I guess, I will tomorrow._

"When do we leave, Spiky?" Barret continued the interrogation. Cloud raised his eyes to meet Barret's, before answering with a shrug, "Whenever you want." The man, not quite old, but still old in comparison to Cloud, grinned from ear-to-ear. "Awright!" he cheered, pounding the end of his gun arm against the palm of his hand, "Then… We leave tomorrow, you hear?" Barret mumbled softly, almost too quietly for Cloud to hear, "Hear that, Marlene? Papa's comin'." Tifa must have heard him too, as she smiled at Barret, almost like a mother to a child.

Tifa must not have liked the lull in the conversation, because she broke the silence not too long after Barret's quiet vow, "I can't say I've ever heard of ships running to Kalm before." Cloud recalled that on their journey, Kalm didn't even have a port, never mind any aquatic trade routes. Barret raised his eyes from the ground, throwing himself back into the fray of the conversation as he added, "I overheard it in town, some folks from Midgar are headin' over to Kalm. Midgar's got it pretty bad."

Narrowing his eyes slightly in thought, Cloud remarked, "So… Kalm's going to need more supplies." He really doubted that the small town had enough resources to support a sudden population spike, especially when its only trade partner had been Midgar in the first place. Shaking his head wildly, Barret exclaimed, "It ain't just that! Think 'bout it. Kalm and Costa del Sol start tradin'. Kalm gets what they need; Costa del Sol gets some money." _Guess no one learned from Shinra after all._

"It's… not exactly a win-win," Cloud contended, eyes meeting with Barret's, as he elaborated, "Look where greed got the Shinra Company." Barret had nothing to offer but a shrug and some advice. "Money makes the world go 'round, Cloud. It ain't right, but that's how things are. A damn Meteor in the sky ain't enough to change human nature." Not quite content with the rebuttal, but also not able to find any holes in it, Cloud nodded. He glanced out the window; the sky was beginning to be painted black.

His eyes noticed a small trash can in the corner of the room. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the piece of paper, crumpling it in his hands, enjoying the sound it made. He tossed it towards the cylindrical object, smirking when the paper landed squarely in the bin. "What was that?" Tifa chirped, although she raised an eyebrow curiously.

Smirk falling from his face, he raised his sky blue eyes to meet hers, watching her carefully for any negative reaction, recounting the day's events, "The supervisor at the docks wasn't helpful. Went to a bar hoping to find some other leads." He paused, wondering how he should phrase the next part, until Barret started laughing. "Spiky, you aren't goin' to get the leads you was lookin' for there, but I think you already found that out!" The man continued guffawing, as Tifa sighed and shook her head. Cloud raised his hand to scratch the back of his head, somewhat embarrassed. He didn't quite like it when all the attention was on him. Uncomfortable as he was, all he could offer was a half-joke, "…I think I liked Don Corneo's place better."


	8. Holy

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

**********Author's Note: I thought I had posted this a few days ago, but it looks like I haven't. Chapters 9, 10, and 11 will be ready for posting once I proofread them, and Chapter 12 is starting to be written. Just wanted to say thanks for reading, reviewing, and following! You guys are pretty cool.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Holy**

Cloud stepped off the ship and onto the dock, hand over his stomach. Even with all the time he had spent in moving vehicles, on land, sea, and air, he was always left with feelings of nausea and vertigo when his feet reached solid ground. Stumbling slightly, he made his way over to the railing and leaned on it, preparing for the worst, should the worst ever happen. He kept his eyes away from the water, but his nose couldn't escape the scent of the ocean. He didn't have to strain his sight across the lush, grassy plains to see the village of Kalm in the distance.

"This is it, Marlene. We're comin'." That was Barret's voice. If Cloud would've glanced over his shoulder, he was sure he would have seen Barret's face bearing one of the most fatherly of grins.

* * *

As the trio entered the town, Cloud was taken aback by how busy it was. Whether it was a result of the refugees fleeing from Midgar, or perhaps the new ferry from Costa del Sol, he wasn't quite sure. He glanced over to Barret, curiously wondering, "So, where is Marlene?" The man in question crossed his arms and tapped his foot, as if he was attempting to recall a vital piece of information. After a moment, his face twisted into a scowl, and he practically deflated as he admitted, "I don't remember."

After a short pause, Cloud tried running some questions by him, trying to jog his memory. "Wasn't she living with Elmyra?" _…Aerith's mother._ With a nod, Barret affirmed, "That's right." Raising her hand to his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze, Tifa tenderly suggested, "How about this? Let's ask around town, and meet in the town square when we figure it out." As if some pieces started clicking in his mind, Barret exclaimed, "Awright! Every moment we spend standin' here is another moment I don't have with Marlene." He ran off and disappeared into the crowd.

Tifa glanced over to Cloud, ruby eyes locking with sky blue. He remained quiet, not quite sure what to say. Giving him a genial smile, Tifa gently declared, "I'm going to head off, too. I'll see you soon, right, Cloud?" With a small wave, she too, disappeared into the sea of people. It was just him, and hundreds, maybe thousands, of strangers, on a cobblestone road, lined with white buildings with wooden frames and blue shingle roofing.

Tired of disrupting the crowd's movement with his stillness, he allowed himself to fall into their rhythm, looking around at the buildings as he passed by them. Kalm had been their first stop on their journey, right after they had left Midgar, way back in December, way back when the whole mess began. He veered onto a side street, leaving the horde of people to their own devices.

What he didn't expect, however, was a man lumbering towards him. Cloud's first instinct was to reach for his sword and protect himself from any possible attack, but the man's limp destroyed any possibility of him being a threat. He reached a hand out towards Cloud just seconds before he fell to the ground. Cloud didn't even think about catching the man, yet here he was, in his arms.

Watching the man's face curiously, Cloud wondered aloud, "Hey, you alright?" The curiosity quickly turned to horror, squeezing his heart, piercing it with its talons, as the man started convulsing. His eyes rolled back into his head as he gasped in sheer agony – pain would be an understatement. Aghast, Cloud delicately laid the man on the ground, his mind absolutely baffled as to what he should do. Paralyzed by uncertainty, all he could do was observe the man as he twisted and turned, writhing around like a deranged person, drooling onto the cobblestone road, groaning and crying and howling in sheer agony. Seeing someone, even a stranger, so tormented by whatever demon was assailing him, unnerved Cloud enough to cause even his muscles to quiver.

Slowly, the shaking ceased, and the man's breathing began to resume a normal, steady rhythm. As he gradually came to, his eyes cracked open, staring directly into Cloud's. Not quite sure of what to say, Cloud pondered repeating his question, even if the answer were obvious. The man sat up bit by bit, clearly fatigued from the ordeal, his muscles straining to support his weight – even though he was as skinny as a reed.

Cloud helped scoot the man backwards, so at the very least, he could lean back against the wall. He remained kneeling next to the stranger, trying to remain alert for any oddities in the man's behavior. The man threw his head back and laughed gloomily, before rolling his head forward and staring, almost absently, into Cloud's eyes. "You ain't from 'round here, are you? Most of 'em would've just walked right on past me." The man's voice was hoarse, almost as if he had been screaming for days on end. Cloud just shook his head, then repeated, "You alright?" The man grimly chuckled, slowly grunting, "For a li'l bit." The misery in the man's eyes practically pierced Cloud's soul.

After a moment, Cloud fretted, trying to keep his voice calm, "How can I help?" The stranger chortled, his actions belying the emotions in his eyes, "Don't suppose you can cheat death, can you?" Cloud watched as the man rolled up his sleeve, revealing a nauseating bruise, covered in open sores and ebony ooze. The man continued nonchalantly, "Can tell by the look on your face that you ain't never seen anythin' like this. There ain't a cure… And if there is, we haven't found it. I'm goin' to die any day now, probably."

"There's… no cure?" Cloud echoed warily. He had never seen anything so revolting in his life before, not like this. The man nodded, raising his hand to scratch his dirty, knotted beard, before proposing, "Well, I suppose the best you can do is spend time wit' your family while you still can. Don't you worry 'bout me. I'm just payin' for my sins. See you 'round, buddy."

With a nod, Cloud stood up, warily watching the man. As he walked away, all he could muster as a good-bye was a simple, "Take care of yourself." Cloud disappeared back into the crowd, making his way to the town center. _Hope Barret and Tifa found something about Marlene._ He knew that he should be trying to gather some information, just as they were, but the horrifying experience, what had happened with that man, was at the forefront of his mind, muddling his thoughts. _What if… I get that, too?_

A man's voice wailed over the footsteps and chatter of the crowd, beckoning them to listen, "Brothers and Sisters! The Planet seeks reparation for our sins!" Cloud stopped walking, pausing to hear out what the robed man had to say. "There is no shame in seeking forgiveness from Her, for we were all born of Her, and we shall all return to Her!" _…Aerith?_ No, that would be silly. Aerith, as holy as she was, wasn't a deity.

Intrigued, Cloud made his way over to the man. Taking notice of him, the robed man greeted him fondly, "Brother! Have you come to seek forgiveness?" Cloud raised an eyebrow, puzzled. _…Not really._ Confused, Cloud wondered aloud, "What do you mean by… the Planet's seeking reparations?" Either the man was off his rocker, so to speak, or he actually had some clue about what was going on in the world. Cloud certainly didn't see anything like that disease back in Costa del Sol.

"You mean, you haven't heard?" the man gasped, his face stretching into an exaggerated expression of shock. He coaxed Cloud into the building behind him, urging, "Come, come! There's much to talk about." _…Why do I always meet the… interesting people? _ Before Cloud could object, he found himself sitting in a small chair in a side-room of the building, presumably an office of sorts, judging by the décor.

The robed man sat across from him, behind an oaken desk, kindly pushing a small jar of assorted small candies towards Cloud. The smile fell from the man's face, and refusing to let a moment go to waste, he began his tangent. "You see, Brother, the Planet is angry with us, for how we've harmed Her. Even though She saved us, using Her great powers to push away the Meteor, She decided that her work wasn't done." Cloud leaned back, questioning, "What do you mean, 'wasn't done'?"

A large, deep frown graced the man's face. He opened a drawer in his desk, grabbing a pamphlet and handing it to Cloud. "Read this, Brother. It is a message from the Ancients."Cloud nodded, not quite believing the man, opening the folded paper to examine what it said. There were two columns of words, one column in a language Cloud wasn't well-versed in, but thankfully, the other column appeared to be a translation.

He read aloud, "Why do we cling together? Why do we provide punishment to our weak hearts? The Planet has not submitted to us, has not submitted. The throbbing pulse flows through the earth, a faint, faint pulse, a heart drawn to death. A gentle life returns to the Stars. Is it necessary to sacrifice the soul? Why do we cling together? Why do we beg for forgiveness, in the fateful earth?"

Cloud wasn't one for metaphors, instead preferring literal, practical explanations whenever possible. Shaking his head, he folded the paper back to how it was, setting it down delicately on the desk. He raised his eyes to meet the man's as he admitted simply, "I don't understand." With an amiable smile, the man nodded, sympathizing, "It's a powerful message, one that takes time to sink in." _…Whatever you say._

Cloud wondered if his face looked unconvinced at the man's response, because the man blinked at him curiously before continuing, "Have you not seen our ill Brothers and Sisters?" Cloud nodded, recalling the stranger's face, contorted in pain. Raising an eyebrow, Cloud attempted to put the two and two together, "Are you saying… That's the Planet's way of punishing us?"

The man nodded gravely, before affirming, "Indeed. While She may be safe now, She is very angry at us, for what we have done. We have dubbed the disease 'Geostigma.' It starts as a small bruise. Unlike a bruise, however, it doesn't disappear. In fact, it starts spreading!" The man waved his hands wildly as he continued. "Soon, open sores appear, secreting black pus. The poor, poor Brother or Sister feels fatigued no matter how long they sleep! They see things that don't exist, and succumb to seizures. And…" the man paused, shaking his head sadly. "They return to Her, as they were born from Her."

Cloud crossed his arms over his chest, wondering, "And… there's no cure?" It wasn't as though mankind knew everything there was to know, but under Shinra's hand, society's expertise and awareness about the world grew vastly, from the mysteries of space to the Lifestream, to biology to medicine. The man shook his head again, just as sadly as he did before, as he elaborated, "She doesn't discriminate. Young, or old, or anywhere in between, anyone can get it, at any time. Most of our Brothers and Sisters have dubbed it the 'Midgar Disease', since most cases have originated there. So long as you weren't at Midgar during the falling of the Meteor, you should be fine." The man nodded, as if he was trying to assure Cloud, or perhaps himself.

Cloud continued his interrogation, trying to comprehend all of the information being handed to him, "…Is that why people are praying in the other room?" Religion, or rather, being religious was against the societal norm, almost worldwide. At least, that used to be the case. The world was changing, and society, too, adapting. The man nodded again, answering to the best of his ability, "Praying used to be against the grain, so to speak. After She saved us, after inflicting Her punishment upon us, more and more folk sought forgiveness through prayer, as if communing with Her would be enough to be forgiven."

Cloud bit his lip, amazed at how quickly the world marched forward, after all everyone had been through. _Am I… keeping up?_ Tossing the thought to the side, at least for now, Cloud stood up and reached out to shake the man's hand. The other man, happiness slowly returning to his face, grinned, returning the gesture. With a small nod, Cloud announced, "I need to get going. Thank you… Father." The last part of the sentence felt unnatural, and tacked on, but Cloud figured he should show the man some respect. With a grin, from ear-to-ear, the man cheerfully announced, "Well! Let me escort you out, Brother. May She guide your steps!"

Bidding on the odd man farewell, Cloud resumed his journey to the town square. Thankfully, he didn't run into any other odd strangers along the way. Though it was hard to see through the sea of people bustling around the hamlet, Cloud spotted Barret's large figure, and hurrying his steps, headed over to him. Before he had a chance to speak, Barret was already exclaiming, practically exploding with excitement, "Spiky! 'Bout time you got here. Come on, let's go see Marlene!" Tifa didn't even have a chance to even muster a hello to Cloud, settling for a smile while Barret bubbled with energy. Not even having a moment to respond, Barret started running off towards who-knows-where, Cloud and Tifa following behind.

Soon, the trio found themselves in front of a small house on a side street branching from the main road. Cloud was briefly pleasantly surprised that he was finally away from all of the people; although he didn't mind crowds, they got tiresome after a while. He stepped forward to knock on the door politely, but Barret, seemingly not realizing Cloud had already stepped forward, nearly knocked him out of the way, pounding on the door with his gun arm.

Bit by bit, the wooden door opened, revealing a slightly older woman, perhaps around Barret's or Cid's age. She was just as Cloud remembered, generally, save for a few streaks of gray hair. _Elmyra._ Adjusting her green dress, she smiled, just as Aerith had, and seemingly relieved, greeted, "Barret! It's been an age. I was beginning to worry that something had happened." She must have noticed Cloud and Tifa standing awkwardly behind the hefty man, as she waved at them before insisting, "Come in and help yourself to a seat. You're probably tired, wherever you came from. I'll get you some tea in a moment."

Cloud and Tifa took up the sweet woman's offer, opting to sit by the kitchen table, while Barret remained standing, waiting while Elmyra got some hot tea around. As she set the steaming mugs in front of Cloud and Tifa, she off-handedly mentioned to Barret, "You know, it's Marlene's birthday today." Pausing for a moment, she then hollered, "Marlene! I have a surprise for you!"

The young child, full of boundless energy, bounced cheerfully down the stairs, her ponytail bobbing with each step. When she reached the bottom, she looked to Elmyra as if wondering why she had been called down, then noticed Barret, her adoptive father, standing there. After a full few seconds, as if her brain was trying to comprehend the situation, she exclaimed the happiest, "Papa!" she could muster, dashing over to him at full-speed. Barret kneeled down, capturing her in a hug. "Marlene!" Barret blurted, wrapping his arms around her, as if he never wanted to let her go again.

"Papa! It's my birthday today!" Marlene announced, her brown eyes shining as bright as the morning sun. Barret feigned surprise, gasping exaggeratedly, "Is it really? How old are you?" Marlene stepped back, then her raised her hand up in the air, holding up five fingers. Fondly, Barret put his hand on her head, ruffling her hair playfully, "That's right! You're growin' up fast!" _…Would I be a good father like that?_

Standing up and stretching his legs, he scooped Marlene up in his arms, making his way over to the table and plopping himself onto a chair, making sure Marlene was safely in his lap. With the biggest grin his face had held in ages, Barret finally acknowledged the rest of the people in the room, "So, Elmyra, how you been?"

With a small grin, the woman stirred her tea with a small spoon, adding in tiny amounts of sugar as she went, answering, "Well, it's been exciting since Meteorfall. Marlene's been a very good girl, though." Marlene practically beamed with pride at the compliment, seemingly unaffected by all the turmoil the world around her was enduring.

_Aerith._ When Cloud looked at the older woman, all he could see was the flower girl. Even though Elmyra had adopted Aerith, the two could probably pass as biologically related if they wanted to. Cloud let his tea sit, looking down at the table. _…I'm sorry._ He vaguely recalled Cait Sith mentioning something off-handedly during their journey, mentioning that he had broken the news of what had happened to Aerith to both Elmyra and Marlene, but Cloud had never gotten the chance to bring it up. _…I couldn't save you._

Life was funny. Once born, someone always left an impact on the world around them, through the form of relationships with other people. As final as death was, its consequences weren't. Guilt burned in Cloud's stomach, and he couldn't stand to look anyone in the eye at that point in time, especially not Elmyra, not after failing her, after failing her daughter. Cautiously, Cloud tested the waters, quietly murmuring, "Elmyra. Have you… heard about Aerith?" _…I'm so sorry._

While he wasn't looking in her direction, he could feel her eyes on him. He wondered if she perhaps nodded at him, and he didn't see it, for after a moment, she simply relied, "I have. That… Reeve, I believe he said his name was, broke the news." _…Why don't you sound sad?_ Her voice was largely neutral, as if she had already come to terms with what had happened. Nodding, Cloud added, keeping his voice just as quiet as he did before, "I'm... sorry. For…" He paused. _For taking her with me. For not finding her sooner. For not pushing her out of the way. For not being able to heal her wounds. For not keeping my promise. _"…For not being able to save her."

Elmyra, even if she was made a mother by adoption rather than blood, still managed to uphold that trademark comforting tone that only mothers could muster, "You all did what you could. There's no need to apologize." Warily, Cloud raised his head, looking at her, the gaze of two pairs of blue eyes locking. He had no response, nothing to say. He hadn't been expecting her reaction, her acceptance, at least, not so quickly, or so easily. The difference between Cloud's stoic face and Elmyra's smiling one was as different as night and day.

Attempting to change the subject, as if she knew it were a painful one for Cloud, Tifa observed, "Kalm sure is a lot busier these days." Taking a sip from her tea, Elmyra seemed to enjoy the chitchat, remarking, "So many people came here from Midgar, trying to find a new home." Attempting to steer his mind away from any further negative thoughts, Cloud tried to throw himself into the conversation, "Is… there anything left of Midgar?" _I can't break another promise._ With a gentle nod, Elmyra chuckled, "The survivors built a city on Midgar's remains, named Edge. After all, it was built on the _edge_ of Midgar!"

Had their lives been a sitcom, there likely would have been a collective, audible groan from the group. Cloud's hands idly played with each other, trying to distract him from falling into the depths of his thoughts, trying to keep him grounded in the present. _Did I really do all I could?_ "Edge? What's it like?" Barret wondered. At one point, Marlene had fallen asleep in his lap and was napping blissfully.

Biting her lip, Elmyra responded, "Not so good. There's a disease going around, maybe from the dirty water, or the rats, or the Mako in the air. A lot of people went missing, leaving a lot of children without parents. Without the reactors running, electricity isn't too stable, either. But, all in all, they're hardy folk, already pushing through the chaos of Meteorfall." Cloud echoed curiously, "Disease? Is it… Geostigma?" The woman inclined her head, affirming, "The Midgar Disease. Have you heard much about it?" _…Sort of._ Not sure how accurate the information from the odd shouting man was, Cloud shrugged in response.

"Geostigma? You mean, that black stuff lots of people outside have?" Barret wondered, furrowing his brows. Elmyra, taking another sip from her tea, simply confirmed, "That's right." Barret reached out to bang his fist on the table, out of habit, but managed to stop himself before he could accidentally awake the sleeping child in his lap. His face adopted the most fatherly look that Cloud had ever seen, as Barret soberly declared, "Rumor said it's an epidemic. I don't want Marlene to get infected. C'mon, let's go home."

…_Home?_ To where, Midgar… Or rather, Edge? Not even sure where home was, though he supposed he would find out shortly, Cloud nodded and agreed with Barret, "Yeah. Let's go home." Barret's paternal look dropped from his face as his brows furrowed in confusion, as if he hadn't quite thought the impulsive plan through. After a moment, he thought aloud, "Where to?"

Without missing a beat, Cloud matter-of-factly answered, "Our suspended reality." _…It's the closest thing we got._ Skeptical, Barret's eyebrows furrowed even more as he demanded, "An' what the hell do you mean by that?" Maybe Cloud hadn't been quite as precise as he thought. Taking another approach, Cloud clarified, "Our normal lives."

Marlene started to shift in Barret's lap. All of the chatter must have woken her up. Cloud half-wondered how much the girl had heard; if she was anything like Cloud, she would have been awake for some time before she opened her eyes. Pounding his fist on the table, Barret's interrogation continued with a slightly annoyed, "And where do we got somethin' like that?" _…Nowhere._ Cloud shrugged and glanced over at Tifa, sky blue eyes locking with ruby red, as he sought something, perhaps comfort or morale, as he warily answered, "We'll find one… Right?" Tifa nodded at him and smiled sweetly, as she always did, and for just a moment, Cloud felt slightly calmer.


	9. Wasteland

******Disclaimer: I don't own any aspects of Final Fantasy VII or the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.**

**************Author's Note: Current plan is to post Chapters 10 and 11 later this week, maybe with Chapter 12, too. Real life has been pretty busy lately, but it seems to have settled down a bit, at least.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Wasteland**

Cloud was almost disappointed when he had woken up that morning. He couldn't even recall the last time he had slept so well, so comfortably, and groggily, he wished he could have just a few more hours of that bliss. Fate decided that it was just too much to ask for, as Barret had stirred him from his slumber by shaking his shoulder and chanting, "Spiky, wake up! Time to go!" Awaking so suddenly, with a large man shouting at him to boot, fueled a burst of adrenaline and anxiety. _Did something happen? Is everyone okay? What's going on?_ Thoughts had raced through his mind, whirring by like cars on the highway, until Tifa had soothed his nerves, explaining that they were heading to Midgar, or rather, Edge, hoping to make it to the city by nightfall.

And so, here he was. The grassy plains surrounding Kalm had become desolate and barren, a wasteland. The Mako Reactors fueling the glamorous lifestyle of Midgar had sucked the very life from the earth, leaving it a hollow, wounded husk. _Will it ever regrow?_ As desolate and dead as the land had become, somehow, monsters were still able to thrive, hell-bent on attacking anything that moved. Cloud, Barret, and Tifa found themselves fighting off ambush after ambush, not just to protect themselves and each other, but also to guard Marlene, who couldn't defend herself.

As bad as it sounded, Cloud enjoyed the assaults while they lasted. Between skirmishes, the monotony of traveling, putting one foot in front of the other, over and over, was almost too much to bear. Marlene seemed immune to the tediousness of the downtime, as she happily chatted about anything that happened to come to her mind. Perched on Barret's shoulder, she, at least, had the luxury of not having to walk miles and miles in the wilderness.

…_I don't even remember the last time my life was stable._ Stable, while a normal word to others, was odd to him. If he had to define it, he would probably refer to his time spent as an infantryman, all those years ago. Even then, with random drills to keep the men on their toes, a reliable schedule wasn't the norm. He glanced over to Tifa, examining the fighter carefully, wondering if she had a grasp of what stability was all about.

She must have noticed his gaze, because she sent him a small smile and a wave. She was so puzzling at times. _…I don't even remember what it's like not to travel._ When all was said and done, he hadn't had a home, or at least, a home that stayed in one place, for several years. After he had left Nibelheim to join the ranks of Soldier, it seemed like he was always being deployed to one place or another, though, at the time, he had always returned to the barracks.

"Papa!" Marlene chirped cheerfully, "What are we going to do when we go home?" Barret adjusted the small girl on his shoulder; Cloud figured it must get tiring after a while, carrying extra weight. He observed the exchange. "Well…" Barret drawled, a large grin on his face, "First, we're goin' to get us a nice house!" Marlene seemed pleasantly surprised by the revelation, gasping, "A house!"

Cloud was expecting Barret to be the first to respond back, but surprisingly, or perhaps not so much, it was Tifa. "Marlene, would you like to help me decorate it?" the woman offered, gently smiling at the girl. She responded with the biggest nod her five-year-old body could muster, beaming brightly. Cloud wondered if he should add something to the conversation, but he never had been close to Marlene by any means. She was incredibly shy towards him, for whatever reason. _…But if we're going to be living together…_

Clearing his throat, Cloud tried his best to contribute somewhat, suggesting, "How would you decorate it, Marlene?" Unlike with Barret or Tifa, there was no immediate response from the girl, and Cloud wondered if he had made a mistake. He never was good with children, not in his opinion. While he was ransacking his mind for any answers as to what he did wrong, a sudden response from Marlene nearly startled him, "Flowers, in every room!" He glanced over to Tifa, trying to gauge her feedback about his behavior, but she was focused on the girl rather than him. "You know…" Tifa started, winking at Marlene, "You could even put them in Cloud's bedroom!"

_Is this what my life is going to be like?_ Living with a burly man with a gun for a hand, a brawling bartender, and a small, slightly timid child? Granted, he had stayed at the old Seventh Heaven, the one in Midgar, during his stint with Avalanche, but he was rarely there, instead opting to do his own thing when Barret didn't have any work that needed doing. Unless they were going to repeat their pre-journey days, which Cloud doubted they would, things would be a lot different. _…Do I even fit in?_

After hours and hours of walking and erratic monster ambushes, the group of four found themselves taking their first step into the territory of Edge. The sun had already started setting off in the horizon, a horizon that one couldn't even see in Midgar, unless they had lived on the Plates. The line between the Plates and the Slums wasn't just blurred, but now entirely non-existent. The upper acropolis had collapsed into the slums, in a much larger version of the Sector 7 incident. Cloud wondered if it was a result of the Lifestream erupting from the ground, or a lack of maintenance on the fragile support structures.

_It's certainly no Midgar._ Edge was a dull gray, as if all the colors had been sucked from it by some strange vacuum force. Cloud couldn't even tell where the city began and the ruins ended. Even the newer buildings, or at least, he presumed they were newer, were patched together and already falling apart. What was most surprising, at least, to him, was how many people were running to and fro. As if Barret noticed Cloud's astonishment of the bustling people, he reminded Cloud, "They love their land, no matter how polluted it gets."

Marlene shimmied her way off of Barret's shoulder, sliding to the ground. Throwing her hand over eyes and peering directly to the west, she keenly observed, "It's going to be dark soon!" _…Well, she's not wrong._ "Well, shi–…Darn," Barret hastily corrected himself, "We need a place to sleep, and stat! Spiky, you got any ideas?" _…We just got here a few minutes ago._ Eyes darting around, Cloud noticed some metal sheets, albeit thin ones, laying on the ground next to some old plate support structures. Glancing back at Barret, Cloud declared confidently, "We'll make one."

Barret looked at him as if he had just grown a second, or third, head. "What do ya mean, 'we'll make one?' We don't got all day," Barret crossed his arms, looking at Cloud impatiently. Cloud motioned at the useful rubble and explained, "It won't be the sturdiest… But it'll work. Prop the sheets against the support beams." Cloud felt Tifa reach out and grab his shoulder, squeezing it gently, as she praised him, "Good thinking, Cloud."

It didn't take long before their shelter was constructed. It wasn't overly large, just a square big enough to fit four people, and it certainly wasn't sturdy. Cloud had done his best to reinforce their temporary lodging with some bricks and pipes lying around nearby, but the place would likely be decimated the next time a strong gust of wind blew through. To him, the most frightening part was the ruined Sector 3 Plate, hanging right over his head. He doubted Shinra would have intended the support beams to hold up the weight of the plates without constant maintenance; was it just a matter of time until it fell? His friends, unlike him, didn't seem too unnerved by the hunk of metal and debris hanging over their heads, waiting to crush them like puny bugs.

Cloud felt his stomach grumbling. He vaguely recalled eating earlier that day, scarfing down some food just moments before they left Kalm behind them, but he hadn't even seen a crumb since then. Tifa had always made sure they were well-stocked on food, and he was certain that she was carting around some in that traveling bag of hers. On the other hand, food cost a lot of money, and if Edge were anything like Midgar, food prices would be through the roof.

_No income and no connections._ Not a good spot to be in. He, personally, could will away hunger for a few days, if he absolutely had to, but he wouldn't subject his friends to that sort of torture. When Tifa had reached into her satchel and handed him some crackers, he simply shook his head. He would be fine, hungry, but fine. He'd much rather make sure his friends had enough to satiate their hunger, even if it meant making some sacrifices.

For a reason he couldn't just place his finger on, knowing that a plate was hanging right above their heads and could fall at any time greatly unnerved him. As he laid down on the chilly, uncomfortable ground to get some sleep, he watched as his friends followed suit. _We can't live like this forever._

Cloud woke up covered in a thin layer of sweat and grime. A sharp pain shot through his back as he stood up, and groggily, he wondered if he had managed to simultaneously age twenty years overnight. The hut was empty, almost eerily barren. _Barret? Marlene? …Tifa?_ He tried calming the racing thoughts in his mind, assuring himself they were safe, since he hadn't awoken to a scuffle. Sure enough, as he walked outside, the anxiety eased, pleasantly surprised by the sight of Barret, Marlene, and Tifa huddled around a makeshift fire.

Helping himself to a seat besides Tifa, he watched as she removed a pot of boiling water from the flames, setting it off to the side to cool. "Looks like you didn't sleep much either, Spiky," Barret teased, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Cloud shrugged, ignoring the heat from the sun; summer would be in full swing soon enough. "It'll get better soon!" Marlene chirped, leaning on Barret, who drowsily put his arm around her. Raising an eyebrow at the girl, Cloud glanced over to Tifa, as if she would have some explanation.

He hadn't expected her to shove a pack of crackers in his hands. "You skipped dinner last night, and you're not skipping breakfast, too," the woman chided with a gentle smile. Nodding at her, he busied his hands with the task of removing the tedious plastic wrap. _…We don't have much left._ "Marlene! Do you want to give Cloud his surprise?" Tifa wondered, winking at the girl. The young girl's face lit up as she jumped to her feet, exclaiming, "I almost forgot!" She ran behind the small shelter and reappeared moments later, giving Cloud just enough time to scarf down his food.

Plopping down a pile of cloth on Cloud's lap, Cloud smiled at her and said a simple, "Thank you." The girl returned the grin and retreated back to Barret's side. He sifted through the clothing, pulling out a navy blue sleeveless turtleneck and a pair of black jeans. As if she could read Cloud's mind, Tifa answered, "Marlene and I found these when we were wandering around this morning. We thought you'd like them." Raising his eyes to meet Tifa's, he nodded at her, half-repeating his previous sentence, "I do. Thank you, Tifa."

He couldn't help but notice she looked a little sad. She didn't carry it in her face, but in her ruby red eyes. Something about it unnerved him, but he wasn't able to put his finger on exactly what. She refused to let him dwell on the thoughts too long, as she urged him, "Go ahead and get changed. Barret and I have some news when you're done."

After wearing the same outfit for so long, donning some new garb was almost liberating. _…Even if the fabric is a bit itchy. _As he exited the hut, leaving his old clothes behind, he noted everyone was still sitting in the same spots, well, save for Marlene, who had run off to play with some thing or another she had found. Reclaiming his spot, he flopped down onto the ground and tried coaxing the conversation forward, "So… What's the news?"

Even though the inquiry had been indirectly aimed at Tifa, it was Barret who took the initiative. "Awright, so…" he drawled, as if he wasn't quite sure how to turn his thoughts into coherent speech. "We're here. We got no friends, no money, and three packs of peanut butter crackers." Cloud bit his lip, looking towards Marlene, watching her play, as if she didn't have a care in the world. _Will she… have a better life than what we had?_

After hearing Tifa say his name, Cloud snapped his attention back towards the group, mumbling, "Sorry." Gently grinning, Tifa tenderly explained, "It's alright, Cloud. Did you hear what I told you?" Cloud shook his head; he honestly hadn't even realized she said anything. Resting her hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, she proposed, "So, we have three big problems, right? How about this, you and Barret go out in town and help people out, while I stay here with Marlene and make sure we have enough to eat."

Unable to find any objections, he nodded at her. He hadn't even thought of what he would do, now that he was in this new, unfamiliar place. Tifa's idea seemed to have some merit; if he were to go out and help people, maybe they'd scratch his back, too. Noticing that she was still watching him, presumably waiting for a response, he nodded and affirmed, "It… wouldn't hurt." She squeezed his shoulder again.

Rising to his feet, Cloud glanced at Tifa and Barret, nodding at them. "Well…" he started, eying them both carefully. "I'll be back at sunset. Let's mosey." Tifa giggled at him, possibly recalling that time during their journey where he had practically said the same thing.

Leaving the hut behind, Cloud took off towards what he presumed was the main part of the new city. Although the drooping Plates had somewhat impaired his view of the horizon, he was still able to spot some presumably new buildings some distance away. They weren't built in quite the same style of the houses of the Slums; these new dwellings were much taller, more akin to the homes on the Plates. Unlike the neon city of Midgar, however, the buildings were much plainer, just patchy bits of dreary shades of grey.

The Plate above him was in shambles. He felt uneasy walking under it, knowing it could fall at any point in time. The skyline he was observing was built just outside the circumference of the Plates, it seemed, presumably to escape the risk of being smashed by falling debris. It was almost like taking a stroll through a warzone. Metal sheets, piping, all sorts of junk were all scattered about, almost as far as the eye could see. Whatever he was walking through seemed to be abandoned by both the Planet and humanity alike.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when his ears registered a hoarse voice hollering, "Help! Oh, please, someone!" He stopped dead in his tracks, azure eyes darting around wildly, trying to find the source of the commotion. Although the ruins were as grey as the city beyond, nothing colorful managed to stick out in his vision. The voice pleaded again, desperate, "Someone! Please!" The noise echoed off the metal remains of Midgar.

Continuing to survey the area frantically, Cloud found it within himself to yell back, "Where are you?" _I can't see anything but grey._ The voice fell silent for a few minutes, and Cloud begun to wonder if he was too late to save whatever poor soul was in such distress. Forcing itself so hard that it cracked, the voice directed, "I'm… over here! By the pipes!" _There's pipes everywhere._ The clamor, while hard to pinpoint through the echo, seemed to originate from his right.

He hurried over in that direction, praying that he was right. He saw a hand reach out from under one of the larger pipes, possibly part of the Plate's sewer line if the smell was any indication. _He's trapped._ Cloud, as physically strong as he was, was unsure if he could lift the pipeline, but he couldn't just idly stand by, either. "Alright," Cloud started, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible for the man's sake, "On the count of three, I'm going to try to lift this."

"Ready?" Cloud planted his feet on the ground. "Three." He put his hands on the edge of the pipe. "Two." He could feel his muscles flexing, preparing for the incoming burden. "One." Pushing with all of the tenacity he possibly could, he felt the end of the pipe lift from the wreckage, making a small gap. The man, covered in dirt and grime and who knows what else, began to squeeze through the opening. Cloud's body shook as he struggled to keep the metal airborne.

Dramatically throwing himself onto the ground, the man rolled over to his back and cracked a large grin at Cloud. Although Cloud had been planning on gently putting the pipe back down, his muscles gave way, and it fell to the ground with a large clang. He moved to kneel by the man's side, looking for any visible injuries, but miraculously, finding none. Slightly skeptical, Cloud questioned him, "You alright?"

The man, seemingly unfazed by his near dance with death, practically leapt to his feet. Beaming at Cloud, he cheerfully remarked, "Got two legs and two arms! Thanks, buddy." _…Buddy?_ Nodding at the man, he wondered, "Why… were you out this way?" The man guffawed, and with a wink, asserted, "You must be new in town, ain't you?" The chipper expression suddenly fell from the man's face as he looked at Cloud's eyes. "Wait a minute, you can't be new in town, you got those fancy-dancy Mako eyes!"

Cloud was blindsided by the man's sudden change in demeanor and the abrupt change in subject. He felt a bit stupid, only being able to respond with a baffled, "What?" As if a switch was flipped in the man's brain, he bounced back to his jaunty mien, eagerly explaining, "You used my weapons! I was makin' swords and guns and all sorts of smashin' stuff for Shinra, back in the day! Soldier or infantryman, didn't matter, everybody loved my designs!"

With a shrug, Cloud chimed in, "Those days… are behind me." After all, there was no need to give the man superfluous information about his life, presuming that he would have a right to know in the first place. The man laughed again, agreeing, "Those days are behind me too, but damn, when the Plates started fallin', you know what else did? Money!" Cloud blinked, wondering why fate would lead him to such odd folk. Oblivious, the man continued, "I don't make weapons for Shinra no more, but… I take whatever metal I can find and smash it into fun stuff! Say… That's one beat-up sword you got on your back!"

The man was rather scatter-brained, Cloud observed, as he shuffled anxiously, in case the stranger should try to put his hands on the Buster Sword. "It's… seen better days," Cloud affirmed, recalling the many, many monsters he had slain with it. Nodding wildly, like a madman, the man offered, "Well, tell you what, my boy! Makin' things for stabbin' is more fun than makin' things for buildin'!" He reached into his pocket, pulling out a business card and practically shoving it at Cloud. "You ever need anythin', anythin' at all, buddy, you call me and let me know, you hear?"

Nodding at the man, Cloud slid the paper into his pocket, saying a simple, "Thank you." Cloud knew that, given their financial situation, he couldn't exactly turn down alliances with anybody interested in helping him or his friends, no matter how crazy they seemed.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by in a whirring blur. After Cloud had parted ways with the bizarre metalworker, he had explored the dreary city of Edge. He tended to keep to himself, wandering the new streets and alleyways, though after seeing diseased people hiding in the shadows, he opted to stick to the main roads.

The city's progress had astounded him. It wasn't too long ago that the Lifestream had erupted from the very ground to save itself from a fiery comet, destroying thousands of homes, families, and lives in the process. Yet, already, society was beginning to rebuild, erecting high-rise buildings, patched together from the ruins of the once proud Midgar. Cloud couldn't help but notice, that even with the harbinger of doom in the sky being gone, the populace still seemed to frown as much as they had before.

As the sun set, he had returned to the small hut he had built. He was exhausted, physically and mentally, his brain having too much information to process, his muscles having strained themselves past their limits. Barret seemed equally as tired, as after their humble dinner of mystery soup, he had retreated to their small dwelling to get some sleep. Marlene, who seemed happy just to have her adoptive father back, followed him around like a small puppy while he was home.

With the two retiring to the realm of dreams, only Cloud and Tifa remained. The sky was a deep, dark blue, pierced by the white light from the stars. The ruins around them seemed to glow from the soft light from the full moon. The pair sat together by their makeshift fire-pit, watching the flames slowly shrink into crimson embers.

He had first noticed Tifa's bizarre behavior just that morning, though he hadn't had the time to dwell too much on it. He had hoped that she would be back to her normal self by nighttime, but it seemed luck wasn't on his side. He watched her cautiously. The way she sat, talked, stood, everything that day, it practically screamed that something was off.

_She was always there for me._ Cloud swallowed the lump in his throat. It was time to return the favor, the best he possibly could. Cautiously, he observed, "It's… not like you, to be troubled by your thoughts." His gaze was focused entirely on her. It was him, her, and the world. She bit her lip, refusing to raise her ruby red eyes to meet his. _…What's wrong?_ Tinges of worry began to grow in his stomach.

Usually, it was him struggling to find just the right words, but it seemed that their roles were reversed that night. With a quiet sigh, she did her best to explain, "It's… just the way I am, Cloud." He raised an eyebrow at her, puzzled. _No, you're not._ Doing his best to emulate her, he put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. Shaking his head, he argued, "No. You're… much more cheerful, and strong." He paused for a moment, trying to verbalize his thoughts. With a small burst of confidence, Cloud declared, "If you've forgotten the way you were then… I'll be there to remind you."

She raised her head, looking towards him, her ruby red eyes staring into sapphire blue. Her face softened, as if she was genuinely touched by what he had said. The anxiety in his stomach began to fade, being replaced by something else. What, exactly, that something was, he wasn't quite sure. He half-wondered if he should continue talking, but she questioned him before he could speak again, "You really will?"

The hope had returned to her voice. Slightly relieved, Cloud nodded and assured her, "Yeah. I will." Their promise echoed in his mind. _The future… might not be good all the time. But, it won't be all bad either. Whatever it throws at us… Let's face it together._ If he weren't there for her, they wouldn't be facing the future together, breaking the vow. And, he had sworn to himself that very night that he wouldn't allow that to happen.

The two sat together for a few more moments, before Cloud abruptly stood up. "We should get some sleep," he stated bluntly. Half-smiling at him, Tifa softly agreed, "Yeah. It is getting late, isn't it?" The question was more of a statement, but regardless, he nodded at her. Cloud let her into the hut first, glancing over his shoulder before he followed suit, just in case any danger was afoot.

The days that followed seemed to blur into each other. The sun and moon would tango wildly in the sky, light replacing dark replacing light, over and over. The four would enjoy breakfast together, then split off to do their duties, rejoining at sunset for dinner. And, at every moonrise, Cloud would always be the last one of the group to return. And, for reasons that he wasn't quite sure of, it bothered him. Or, perhaps, it was the worried smiles from his three friends.


End file.
